The Lie Detector Test
by TeaCullen
Summary: *Complete* What started off as a joke turned into the game of a lifetime. Who would survive the questioning and what surprises do the Cullen's have in store for each other? Rated M for language, suggestive themes, ect. Cannon pairings. OOC at times. R&R.
1. Isabella get's questioned

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot line.

A/N: This isn't exactly funny. It's 4 am and I'm just not really feeling the funny. But inspiration struck. Please read and review. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

"So tell me dear Isabella Swan, have you ever had naughty dreams about anyone but Eddie poo here?"

I gulped. "No," I managed to squeak out.

After a few short antagonizing moments, Emmett shouted, "LIE! Who Bells? WHO?!"

"I plead the fifth…" I murmured. I didn't dare even glance at Edward.

"Was it Jacob Black?" Asked Edward quietly.

I turned to look him in the eye. "No."

"Truth," called out Emmett.

"Was it that foul Mike Newton?" Rose asked, a hint of a smile playing on her lips. She'd love it to be Mike. Even if we were a lot closer now she would still love to see me in misery.

I laughed. "Umm, eww…No?" I answered.

"Truth," said Emmett, sounding slightly disappointed.

Edward looked both pleased and puzzled. Who else was there in his mind? I saw his lips move as he went over every possibility. It seems none of the ones he thought of we're a possibility in his mind.

Finally he asked, "Was it one of my brothers?"

Shit! How did he come to that conclusion? I blushed furiously. This is going to be hella embarrassing. "No," I answered. My voice was barely above a whisper but I knew everyone heard me. Hell they could have heard me if they were just about anywhere in the house.

"Lie…" Emmett managed to get out.

Emmett and Jasper both stared at me. Neither of them thought of me as anything more than there little sister, Edwards soul mate. Alice and Rosalie simply looked furious. If only they knew…

"Which one?" Edward inquired. He didn't sound as upset as I thought he would. I thought he would be near murderous at this point.

Why lie now? I bit the bullet and whispered, "Both."

Every single vampire in the room froze. No one so much as breathed until Alice began laughing. Soon Edward too was in near hysterics. I could only assume Alice had a vision and Edward saw it in her mind. Damn psychics and mind readers. Thank god Edward can't reach me in here.

"Go ahead Jazz. Ask her!" giggled Alice.

"What…umm…what happened?" Jasper looked truly uncomfortable. "In the dream that is…"

Jasper looked very strange. Maybe everyone's emotions were getting to him.

I blushed deeper scarlet. Why can't anyone in the family ever let anything go?

"I dreamed…that I…walked in while Emmett and Jasper…were changing…and they were…umm…kind of…making out…with each other…" I finally managed to get out.

I grabbed the pillow sitting on the couch next to me and buried my face in it. The room was once again silent. Then it sounded like someone was ringing a hundred bells as all my favorite vampires laughed.

"Wow love. You never cease to surprise me. We should do this more often. I believe it's your turn to ask Bella a question Alice."

Alice looked me straight in the eye. She was contemplating her question. It was very frightening to say the least.

"Will you marry Edward?"

Holy crow! I call foul! Since when can the sis pop the question for her brother?!

"NO!" I shouted.

"LIE!" Emmett shouted back.

Everyone's eyes snapped to Emmett, though mine must have been the most surprised. Edward looked beyond happy.

"Regardless of what that absurd little machine says I will not marry Edward right now. One day but not now. Next question."

"But…" began Esme.

"Next question!" I said before she could get any farther.

"Fine. It's my turn so my question is…Have you ever tried to seduce Edward?" asked Esme. I'll admit. It shocked me. Esme asking me a sexual question? What are the odds? Oh yeah this is me we're talking about. The odds are always against me.

"Yes," I answered. Why freaking lie at this point? Emmett had walked in on Edward and I the last time I attempted to seduce him.

"You all suck! My turn again! Bella, have you ever seen Eddie poo naked?"

Someone should really put a muzzle on that idiot…even if he is favorite brother. "Depends on how naked where talking here."

"We're talking full on nudity baby!"

"Then…yes…"

"You've seen the prude naked…Yet your both still sexually repressed." Emmett laughed.

"Idiot," I stated simply. Actually to be honest I'm kind of bored. I started singing to pass the time.

"I've got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine. I've got a love and I know that is all mine. Oh… Ohwahoh… Do what you want but your never gonna break me. Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me. Oh… Ohwahoh…"

"Love? Are you alright?" Edward asked, looking at me like he thought I might have finally snapped. Maybe I had…

"Of course I'm fine. I'm just bored. Who's up now?"

"Carlisle?" Edward said unsure.

"Okay. Please don't hold this against me darling Bella. Have you ever thought of anyone other than Edward in a sexual way?" Carlisle asked. His face repentant.

What the hell? Since when do the rents ask the embarrassing questions? This is probably there way of making sure I'm good enough for there son…

"Yes…"

"She's telling the truth. Hmm…was it about me and Jasper?"

"No."

"Damn she's telling the truth again. Was it about Mike Newton?"

"No," I wasn't going to give Emmett the satisfaction of just coming right out and saying who it was. I was keeping this one close to my chest. Not that it's really any big deal.

"Was it that dog?"

"I've never thought about a dog sexually Em. I'm not into beastiality."

"God Bells I didn't know you had it in you to make such a joke. Was it about Jacob?"

"No," I answered sighing. He really should just give up and quit guessing. He's never going to get it.

"Was it perhaps about a certain father figure of mine?"

Oh my giddy gods trousers. He did not seriously just ask me that…So help me god when I'm changed I'm going to kick his ass from here to kingdom come!

"NO! That's just wrong! He's like a second father to me. That's just gross Emmett."

"Well then who?"

Edward laughed. He once again seemed way to calm. Doesn't he care that I had sexual thoughts about someone other than him?

"Was it Romeo or Heathcliff or Mr. Darcy?" Edward asked. Sure he would get it in one guess. That's why he's my soul mate.

"Romeo of course. And Paris. But we're not going there." I once imagined what it would be like to be Juliet with them. Let's just say my imagination got the best of me.

"You had a sexual fantasy about a fictional character?!" Emmett interrogated.

"Yes Emmett I did. Rose it's your turn."

This should be interesting to say the least. Rose always knew how to get under my skin. I don't think she did it intentionally though. It's just a part of who she is.

"Hmm…Let me think about that," Rose said, trying to come up with the perfect question. Knowing her it would be a simple, yet powerful, question.

"I've got it. Have you ever lied to Edward about anything important?"

Had I? I don't think I have. Sure I'd lied about a few small things here and there but anything important? I don't think so.

"No," I answered.

"Umm…Lie?" Emmett said. He sounded somewhat unsure.

Wow…I tried to think of what I lied about. I couldn't really come up with anything.

"Well if I didn't then I don't remember. Seriously. I can't think of anything important that I've lied to Edward about."

"Why the worry Bella?" Jasper asked. He looked very confused. I bet it's hard for him to be able to feel the emotion but never be able to know the source.

"Because…I can't remember something I apparently lied about. That's kind of big don't you think?"

"Nah your human. It's only natural."

"Whatever. It's your turn to ask a question…What's it going to be?"

Jasper looked thoughtful. Why can't they think of there questions while they wait for there turn? It would make this torture go faster. The only reason I agreed to this was because Alice promised no shopping for 2 whole months. Sounds like heaven to me. As much as I love her she can be an annoying little pixie who needs her credit cards hidden…or better yet destroyed.

"Would you like to get away from here and go to the meadow with Edward?"

What kind of question was that?

"Yes I would."

"Then go. I think we've tortured you enough for one day. Besides Edward's emotions are getting to me."

I looked at Edward confused. He looked fine to me. He was sitting in his chair facing me. Emmett didn't allow him to sit with me because he thought it might affect the results of the test. Edward's eyes were closed and if you looked closely he seemed to be concentrating on something very hard.

"What exactly is he feeling?" I asked.

Jasper glanced at Edward then said, "Lust. Intense, over whelming lust. I'm about to seconds away from grabbing Alice and running upstairs. It's taking all the self restraint I have right now not to."

"Wow…Would you like to go to our meadow Edward?"

Without answering, Edward scooped me up and threw me on his back.

"See y'all later!" I shouted as we ran out the back door.

A/N: This is a one shot I wrote after reading a similar story. I own nothing but the plot. I know it's not the best but please review and tell me what you think. I might add on another couple chapters. Like maybe post Breaking Dawn and have Maggie be the lie detector since traditional lie detectors obviously wouldn't work on vampires. Have it be done on Edward…Nessie…Jacob…Emmett…We'll and love,TeaCullen


	2. Renesmee's Birthday Present

Most of my family and I sat around the living room watching Batman And Robin, trying to 'bond' as Carlisle calls it. Of course Emmett picked out the movie. I think he might have a bit of a crush on Poison Ivy. Renesmee and Jacob we're out hunting.

_Holy shit she's so hot. Rose would kill me if she knew. Eddy you better not say anything or I'll kick your ass!_

I sighed. Emmett really needs to get more creative. Of course Bella heard and looked at me questioningly. I just shook my head slightly and mouthed later.

"Someone's coming!" Alice shouted. She sounded excited. I quickly tuned into her mind but all I heard was her blasted singing.

It still amazed me how after spending so much time with Nessie and the pack, Alice had developed the ability to see them.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world! Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere._

"Oh my god Alice! Would you pick a different song?!" I shouted across the room at her.

"Bite me Edward!"

"That's my job," my Bella said, her voice sultry.

_God! Do you think she could TRY to control her lust? If she doesn't tone it down a bit I'm going to take Alice and run._

"Bella love. You need to rain in your lust before you kill Jasper. He's almost on overload," I said, kissing her nose gently.

"Sorry Jasper," she whispered. Rosalie chuckled knowing Bella would be blushing if she still could.

_I wonder who's coming over. I don't believe we were expecting visitors. Esme is going to go into a cleaning frenzy now. I guess we'll have to postpone tonight's plans…_

"CARLISLE! Eww! Let's not go down that path. A little help Bella?" I asked, hating seeing my family's evening activities. Thankfully I could no longer hear anything but the gently quietness of my own thoughts.

"So Alice who is it that's coming to visit? Shall we make up the guest rooms?" asked Esme. A particular sparkle in her eye. I knew she was planning a renovation.

"Just some friends, they won't require accommodations. They shall be staying for a week if we are okay with that, which we are," replied Alice, "Though I do believe Nessie and Jacob could use a room, seeing as they are going to be developing there relationship within the week by my calculations."

I scowled at Alice. Even if I had given in almost 7 years ago that doesn't mean I like hearing about it. It was my precious little angel and her soul mate was once in love with my darling wife. It still bothered me slightly.

"I would stop talking Ali, before Edward rips you limb from limb. And Edward, tone down the anger before I end up losing what little bit of emotional control I have left."

I worked to bring my anger in check, knowing Jasper meant it. None of us needed to see Jasper having a breakdown.

I heard a car coming up the drive, though I couldn't tell who it was. They we're driving faster than any human would dare drive up our path though it could still be one of the pack. They visit often. After all, Jacob lives here.

"They're here!" Shouted Alice. There went that idea.

Carlisle stood up from his seat next to Esme and walked to the door, opening it at the first knock. No one breathed.

Carlisle stood back and in filed Maggie, Zafrina, Nahuel, Tanya, Kate, and Garrett. I was confused as to why they were here, especially since most were without there mates or covens. Bella must have been in on some sort of plot because she was blocking their thoughts.

"Bella, love, why are you blocking…everyone?" I asked confused.

The look on Bella's face reminded me of the one Nessie used to make when she got caught doing something naughty, like sneaking into Jacob's room at night.

"I'm just protecting my friends from unwanted intrusion, plus Alice promised no shopping trips for 3 months."

Again I knew Bella would blush if she could. I would always miss her blush. It was so beautiful and one of my favorite things about her human life, but I would never change the way she was now. She's still my Bella, only a little more durable and a lot more passionate. Much of her humanity came with her into this life.

"ALICE! You need to stop bribing my wife. It's not fair!"

"Oh don't whine Edward, I just didn't want you spilling the beans."

Waves of confusion rolled off me. What secret wouldn't I be able to keep?

"You have no idea what tomorrow is do you?"

I thought back, a few things came to mind but none of them required the presence of the 6 additional vampires.

"EDWARD! It's our daughters official birthday! Please tell me you didn't actually forget!" Bella yelled at me. Well of course I didn't forget but I still didn't get it.

"He's still confused Bells. Maybe you should spell it out for him while Nessie and Jacob are still away…" Jasper said. I turned back to Bella, looking for an explanation.

"Edward, there here for Ness's birthday party, but since you and Jacob both tell her whatever she wants to know we decided it would be better to keep it from you. Besides, surprising you is always so much fun," Bella answered. I chuckled and wrapped her up in my arms, kissing her lightly.

"That explains it. Well in that case, welcome. I'm sorry if I seemed rude, I was just surprised to see you."

"That's quite alright," Tanya answered.

"Ali, shall we tell Edward about the other part of our reasoning?"

Oh shit…that was the only coherent thought I had. Whenever Bella and Alice schemed together it meant danger for the rest of us, though when Bella and Emmett schemed together it meant disaster.

"Before you answer that may I ask if Emmett was involved in any part of this?"

Emmett laughed and I knew right away he did.

"Of course I did Eddie-poo! Aren't I always involved?"

"Anyways! Maggie here has agreed to play a game with us while she's here…and if you refuse to play Edward, Bella has agreed not to touch you for a month. So you best just agree!"

I surrendered, knowing there was no point in fighting it. Though my curiosity was peaked when Alice mentioned that Maggie was a big part of the game.

"I agree…so what's the game?"

Alice got that glint in her eye and I shivered slightly, involuntarily. Instinctually I grasped Bella closer to me. Panic filled me.

"Sheesh Edward, you would think the world is coming to an end, calm down," Jasper griped, sending waves of calm and tranquility over me. I soon began to feel sluggish and lethargic though I couldn't sleep.

"Your over doing it Jazz…I'm about to pass out," I said with what little energy I had left. Jasper sent me a small shot of adrenaline, effectively waking me up.

"What's the game?" I asked still a little nervous.

"Remember when Bella was still human and we tortured her with the lie detector test? Well it's Bella's turn for revenge."

I gasped a little. I had a bad feeling about this. From the look in Bella's eyes, I was her only target.

"Why Maggie? Why did you agree to this?!" I asked her, slightly begging with my voice for her to change her mind.

"Because I knew it would be the perfect present for Renesmee. Who doesn't want to give there daddy a lie detector test? And one as accurate as I am?" answered Maggie. She laughed lightly, causing her curls to bounce.

"And when do you plan on playing this game?" I asked.

"Tomorrow, Ness and Bells will have the floor but anyone can ask you a question. Don't worry, Ness will get to choice other people to put through the torture for the week Maggie's here. It's Nessie's choice," explained Alice.

"Oh like you don't know who she's going to pick."

"No actually I don't since she doesn't know who she's going to pick since she DOESN'T EVEN KNOW! Now sit down and shut up," Alice laughed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh wow! We get to ask dad questions and he can't lie! Wicked! This is the best present ever!" Renesmee shouted, jumping up and down.

"Even better than the Aston Martin DB9 I got you?" I asked.

"Way better dad! The can run as fast as the car but I'll never get another chance to look into your mind like this again!"

I sighed and sat down on the chair, as everyone gathered 'round. Bella and Nessie sat together on the loveseat, facing me. Twin expressions on their faces. I knew I was in for it now.

"Okay ladies, anytime you want to start I'm ready," said Maggie. The word's of my doom.

"Renesmee you go first, it's your birthday after all."

Renesmee looked calculating and Jasper sent me waves of calming.

"Dad, have you ever thought about killing Jacob?" asked Nessie, looking truly curious.

"Yes I have but it was before you we're born. Back when he was hell bound and determined to come between your mother and I."

"He's telling the truth," said Maggie.

"Have you ever kissed anyone other than me?" Bella asked, with that look on her face yet again that said, 'If I could still blush, I would be red as a tomato.'

"No love I haven't. At least not in a sexual way."

"Truth," Maggie responded simply.

"Do you know where my gnome is?" asked Jasper. Him and his stupid precious gnome…it deserved the fate it received.

"No I have no idea where it is right now," I responded, and it was true. I hadn't seen his gnome since Emmett and I had sent it up on that miniature rocket we had built in our back yard.

"That's a half truth…" Maggie said.

"Where was it the last time you saw it?" Jasper asked.

"Umm, attached to a rocket…on it's way to outer space…" I muttered under my breath. Though I knew everyone heard me.

Jasper growled loudly, while Alice held him in his chair, whispering soothing words into his ear.

"Did you and Bella have sex in our bed?" asked Rosalie. What the hell? What kind of question was that? Then I remembered, we all asked Bella sexual questions when she was going through the lie detector test.

"Once, but it was only because we couldn't find anywhere else at the time. You and Alice we're in Alice's room and Jazz and Em we're in ours. But I KNOW you and Emmett did it in my bed while Bella and I we're staying in the cottage!"

"Truth," Maggie called, sounds shocked. I couldn't blame her. It was kind of weird.

Rose looked incredulous. Emmett just looked amused.

Unfortunately Bella was blocking everyone so I had no idea what any of them were thinking.

"My turn again," said Nessie, "Will you throw a fit if Jacob and I move into the house together?"

"Yes I will throw a fit, but I will allow it in the end because you and Jacob are no different than what your mother and I were like before we were married," I said sighing.

"Truth."

"It's hard be believe it's only been 7 years love. My question is, do you ever regret changing me?" Bella asked, her face unreadable.

"Not for even the shortest of breaths. Sure there are some things I miss, such as your blush and your heartbeat, but I wouldn't give up forever with you just to see you blush or hear your heartbeat. I have you now, in every way I could have ever wanted," I said, my eyes darkening with the love and passion I feel for Bella.

"Truth."

"Have you ever mooned anyone?" asked Emmett.

"Never!" I shouted. I'm much to gentlemanly to do such a thing.

"Wow…Lie…" Maggie said, shocked.

"Oh my god! WHO?!" demanded Emmett.

"Oh right…that one time…Sorry…I mooned Bella once…but that was it."

"Truth."

I chuckled at the memory of that night. Bella and I we're having fun and I told her to kiss my ass and she told me to mark the spot and needless to say, I dropped my drawers…Good times…good times…

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen so help me god you swore we wouldn't speak of that night. It was PRIVATE time…"

"Well Emmett asked and I was informed that I had to answer all questions truthfully and fully," I retorted.

Bella simply glared at me, biting her tongue. Her eye's said I was getting it after dark, when we we're alone…Maybe Jasper would like to go hunting tonight. I'll have to ask him.

"Don't even think about it Edward, Jazz and I have plans," Alice said menacingly.

Crap.

"Have you ever thought about anyone other than Bella in a sexual way?" Carlisle asked, voicing the same question he had all those years ago.

"Nope," I answered, my lips popping on the p.

"Lie," Maggie said, examining her fingernails. They we're currently painted a misty black but from her eyes I could see she was thinking about changing them.

Emmett let out a booming laugh and asked, "WHO?!"

I sighed. Who other than my Bella have I ever thought about in a sexual way? Then it dawned on me. Of course! It's easy to see how I could have forgotten her, it had been almost 90 years since I'd seen her.

"Her name was Emma. Emma Samantha Robb. She lived next door to my family when I was still human. I used to think about her sometimes when I saw her out and about. She was a bit of a harlot. It was hard not to notice her in that way," I explained.

"Oh well then, that's okay…" said Bella. And by the look on her face it truly was. After all she once fantasized about a fictional character or two.

"Anything else you want to know Renesmee? This is a one time only opportunity because you should know I will NEVER sit through this humiliation again."

"Yeah dad. I have a couple more questions. Like have you ever actually driven UNDER the speed limit?!" Renesmee asked.

"Of course, your mother used to make me drive her truck and that old beast couldn't go above 55 without shuddering, as though it was going to die," I chuckled, amused by the memory.

"Speaking of The Beast, did you or did you not kill it in order to buy me a new car?" Bella asked me entertained.

"I may have had a hand in it but it was Rosalie who did it!" I shouted, trying to deflect her anger away from me. Much to my surprise, Bella smiled.

"Thank you Rose. I really appreciate it. Even if I didn't then," she said. I was shocked.

"Truth and truth," Maggie said. I realized she had been staring off into space, not really paying attention.

"Is there anything you regret not experiencing while you were still human?" Nessie asked. Her questions more philosophical than embarrassing.

"Yes. I regret not being able to experience knowing your mother while we were both still human but to be honest I wouldn't change it. Because if we were both human, we would eventually die and I never want to lose your mother. Forever isn't even long enough," I said lovingly.

"Truth."

"What is your all time favorite movie?" Nessie asked. She had asked me that when she was '3'. My answer then had been The Goonies. It was a great movie. Though severely childish.

"The Goonies," I found my answering again.

"Lie," Maggie said, couldn't she just agree with me for once?

"Fine, it's…Blood and Chocolate," I answered.

Everyone laughed and I could understand why.

"Isn't that a WEREWOLF movie?" Jacob asked, speaking up for the first time since we began this ridiculous 'game'.

"Yes Jake it is. But it's still a touching movie!" I would blush if I could.

"Ever been jealous?"

"Yes, of Jacob, Mike, Tyler, Eric, anyone who's ever had an impure thought about my Bella."

"You were jealous of Jacob? Why? I mean I know that Jake used to have a thing for mum but why would you be jealous? It's not like mum ever reciprocated the feelings."

I laughed. No one ever really told her what happened in the past. The day we fought Victoria, the kiss they shared, the love they had once felt for each other.

"Renesmee, your mother did reciprocated the feelings, she loved Jacob very much. However she loved me more. They even kissed once."

"Twice…well technically the day of the fight we kissed two times plus the kiss on the beach…so three times," corrected Jacob.

"Can you say ew? My mother and my boyfriend kissed? THREE TIMES? That is so many levels of wrong!"

"It was before you we're born Ness, and since I first saw you I've never had eyes for anyone but you. You are my life, my world, my everything. I hope you know that."

Renesmee walked over to Jacob and sat in his lap, leaning into his chest. I didn't need Jaspers power to know the amount of love passing between them right now. Even a blind man could see it.

"Okay one more question before your mother and I go. I'm sure she has some yelling to do," I stated simply.

"Alright, let me think. I want it to be a good one."

I waited patiently while Renesmee thought over what she wanted to know. You could almost see the cogs working while she thought deeply.

"Fine, my final questions is, do you have any regrets in this life? Or your human life for that matter?"

I thought about that, did I have any regrets? Sure I did. But not anymore. Because now I have my beautiful Bella for all of eternity and my angelic little daughter.

"I used to, before I met your mother. Even then I had regrets but, after I married her, and we had you, they all went away. The moment I saw your mother didn't regret me changing her, all my regrets of the past went away," I answered, and with that I stood up, pulling Bella with me.

"Truth. So Kate, feel like going hunting?"

Kate and Maggie stood up too, leaving out the back door. They were running before they hit the end of the deck.

"Thank you dad. I loved this. And I can't wait to choice my next victim, in the morning. I'm fairly tired right now and I still have to go see Charlie and Sue. Also the La Push boys are throwing a bonfire in my honor. We won't be out late. Love you mum, dad," Renesmee said, hugging us both before grabbing the keys to her new car. They left swiftly, not wanting to keep Charlie and Sue waiting. Seth came rushing down the stairs.

"Wait for me! I promised my mum I wouldn't be late this time. The only way I'll be on time is if I arrive with you two. Any later than that is unacceptable," He shouted.

"Then hurry up you idiot!" Jacob shouted back. And with that they were gone.

"I love you," I whispered in Bella's ear, pulling her toward the cottage.

"I love you too," she whispered back, "But your so not off the hook yet."

A/N: So guys tell me what you thought. Some of this was meant to be funny, while some of it was meant to be a little deep. I decided that after spending 7 years living under the same roof as Renesmee and Jacob, Alice's power grew and she could start seeing them. They we're fuzzy at first but now she sees them as clearly as she sees humans. I'm going to start working on the next chapter soon. Please feel free to tell me who you want put in the hot seat. And there will be a big surprise in the next chapter. Also because I don't know if it was clear, this is Renesmee's 7th birthday, making her fully grown by Stephanie's standards for half-breeds, and old enough to be with Jake. They've been going out for about a year now. Since she was about '16'.


	3. Jacob Goes Down

A/N: This chapter is more fluff than funny…I ended it on a huge happy note! :D Review if you liked the story. I know it's a little on the short side but it's 2:22 in the morning and I can't write any more.

"Jacob!"

I turned quickly at the sound of my name being called. The face of my angel greeted my eyes.

"Hey beautiful. I was just on my way to the cottage to see you. How are you today love?" I asked my Renesmee.

She walked over to me, wrapping her arms around my waist.

"Much better now. I hate being away from you. How are you doing?"

I wrapped my arms around her tighter and sighed happily, breathing in her sweet scent.

"I'm blissful. Shall we go get some grub? I believe Esme made a feast. We better get some before Seth and Embry demolish it all," I laughed. Knowing Seth and Embry they probably already ate half, but Esme always hid some away for Nessie and I. Even after all these years she still insisted on cooking for everyone who needed to eat.

"Sure! I'm starving," Nessie replied, jumping up on my back.

I carried her into the kitchen and sat her down next to Bella and Edward. Nessie loved me giving her piggy back rides. She was so much like Bella. Personally, I loved anything that caused her to touch me. My mind started wandering...

"Shut up Jacob! That's not something I want to hear," Edward said chuckling.

"A good morning to you too Edward. Morning Bells. Good morning Esme. Breakfast looks great! Thank you so much," I said smiling. I lightly punched Edward's arm, kissed Bella's cheek, and gave Esme a swift hug. She really was like a mum to me, and after almost 8 years of being close to vampires, the smell no longer bugged me. In fact I kind of liked it.

I grabbed a plate piled high with all my favorites and a glass of milk. I took a seat between Nessie and Seth and dug in.

"It's hella good Esme! As always," I complimented her.

"Your welcome Jacob. Carlisle, Jasper, Alice, Tanya, Garrett, Zafrina, and I are all going hunting. Maggie, Kate, and the pack will be here to play with Maggie and Nessie. Edward, Bella, would you like to come with us?"

"Oh no, Edward and I will be sticking around to watch the show, it's going to be a good one. Just ask Alice," Bella said, a wicked glint in her eye. Bells could be mad scary when she wanted to be.

Edward laughed and nodded his head slightly in agreement. I'm sure he got it last night. Another small nod.

"So love who's today's victim?" I asked Nessie, curious as to whom she would pick.

Renesmee's eyes got that same wicked glint as her mother's. She let out a sweet, innocent laugh that sounded oddly evil.

Nessie softly touched my cheek and a flurry of images passed before my eyes. Bella, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, Seth, Quil, Embry, even Leah. Though all their images had an air of...passiveness. Finally I saw myself staring at...myself.

"Why me Ness? What about Bells? Don't you want to know about her secrets? Or Blondie! I bet she's got some good ones!" I whined, knowing it was worthless.

Bella laughed like she knew this was coming. I glared at her and a little growl came to out. Bella simply laughed harder.

Edward said, "Just like an angry puppy that thinks he's a wolf."

Nessie hopped up, done with her breakfast. She shouted, "I'm taking a shower! Everyone in the living room in an hour!"

And with that she was gone. I sighed and went to get changed, knowing it would be an afternoon to forget.

*******************************************

"Anytime you want to begin is fine with me," Maggie said, amused.

"Mum? Can you keep dad from ruining this for me? Block Maggie, Jacob, and me please," asked Renesmee. Actually that was a good idea. Edward was bound to freak out at least once or twice, no need to give him any other reasons.

"Of course angel. It's already done," answered Bella.

"Great. My first question is, what is your most valuable possession?" asked Nessie.

I looked her straight in the eyes and answered, "You are my most valuable everything, without you I have nothing."

"Truth, and that was really sweet Jacob," complimented Maggie.

A single tear rolled down Nessie's cheek. She cleared her throat and said, "Which day would you love to live again?"

I blushed a little, "The day you looked at me and said, 'I love you and one day I will marry you! Plan your life accordingly.' I couldn't keep a straight face when you said that. The look on your face was so determined, as if my world didn't already revolve around you."

All the women in the room awed, even Rosalie. Rosie and I were on much better terms, though we still picked on each other constantly, it was in a loving way now.

"What's your favorite movie?" Rose asked.

"Umm…Ginger Snaps…" I answered.

"Lie, why can't anyone ever truthfully answer that question?" asked Maggie.

"Because it's hella embarrassing and the truth is The Lost Boys is my favorite movie alright?" I finally admitted.

"A VAMPIRE movie Jacob?!" Edward teased.

"Shut up Cullen," I retorted lamely.

"What song always reminds you of me?" asked Bella.

"Lean on me by Bill Withers now. If you would have asked me 8 years ago I would have said something like I'm In Love With The Girl by Gavin DeGraw," I answered. Thinking how much my life had changed since Bella had Nessie.

"Truth."

"And what song reminds you of me?" Nessie inquired.

"Easy…I'll Be by Edwin McCain," I answered. It was the song we danced to on our first date, it was the song I wanted to dance to at our wedding.

"Truth, are you a virgin?" asked Maggie.

"Yes…" I answered, blushing furiously.

"Truth."

"What's your favorite book?" asked Edward.

"I would say probably Harry Potter. Yeah, it's stupid I know but I can't seem to help loving the mythical side of everything…seeing as we're all mythical creatures."

"Truth and you need to get to a library,"

Sometimes I had to wonder about the Cullen's and their friends. They can be so completely random at times.

Emmett cleared his throat. Oh shit…

"Who is your favorite Disney princess and why?"

Emmett should seriously be committed.

"I would say Belle because she falls in love with the Beast…even though he's a well…beast…"

"Truth."

"What's your favorite sound to hear?" asked Rose.

I thought about it for a few moments. A couple of sounds came to mind, silence being the prominent one. Then just as I was about to answer, I changed my mind.

"Renesmee's voice," I said.

"Truth."

"One last question before I go out with Nahuel for dinner. Jacob Black I love you more than anyone has ever loved anyone else and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I once told you I was going to marry you, so this shouldn't be a surprise. Will you marry me?"

I was stunned into silence…Was I dreaming? Oh my god! I jumped up and grabbed Renesmee up in my arms, kissing her deeply. I didn't care if her parents we're right there.

"Yes yes and a thousand times yes!"

I swung her around in a circle, hugging her tightly. I had never been happier.

"Alice already made up a room for us, right between Alice and Jazz and Rose and Em, so we won't be tempted to break any rules. Wanna see?"

"I'd love to!" I said and swung her onto my back.

I ran up the stairs, leaving the rest of the family behind.

A/N: So here is chapter 3. Please please PLEASE let me know what you thought. I don't write for reviews but I do love getting them. It encourages me to write faster. Next up to get tested is going to be…EMMETT! I can only imagine the kind of embarrassing things he has in his back ground. XD If there is anyone specific you would like me to write about let me know and I'll defiantly try.


	4. Emmie Get's It

A/N: I know that I've been keeping certain character's out of it even though I had them come. Most of the birthday party party was brought because I couldn't think of a legitimate reason for Maggie to come over. Besides I have a plan for Nahual...there's a reason he came alone. ;-)

"So our little angel is getting married, eh? How do you feel about that Rosie?" I asked my smoking hot wife as we laid together in our bed.

"I knew it would happen eventually and at least I can kick Jacob's ass if he hurts her. But I don't think we'll ever have to worry about that. He'll never hurt her, or leave her," commented Rose.

I ran a hand down her side and pulled her on top of me, ready for round 2. She kissed me passionately. We were so wrapped up in each other the world could have ended and we wouldn't have noticed.

"HOLY SHIT! Do you mind? Innocent eyes present!" screamed Nessie, standing in the door with Alice, Jazz, and Eddie.

I wrapped both of us in the sheet as Alice said, "I told you not to go in there Nessie. It's going to take years of therapy for all of us to forget this."

"Well I fucking knocked first," retorted Nessie before turning to glare daggers at Rose and I, "I want the two of you in the living room in 10 minutes or I will have my henchmen rip y'all limb from limb and leave you like that for a week before putting your asses back together!"

It was a good threat I must admit. Edward laughed and said, "That's my baby girl for you. Always the feisty one."

Go to hell Eddie-poo.

He glared at me, "Oh trust me I already am. This is worse than seeing the nasty fantasies in your minds."

"Just get out, we'll be there."

Everyone turned to leave, Nessie last, when she suddenly turned around and her eye's locked on mine, "Oh Emmett, one more thing…You're my victim today."

----------------------------------------------

"Welcome to the torturing of Emmett McCarty Cullen," giggled Bella, smiling broadly.

"You're just loving this, ain't ya Bells?" I asked her.

I knew this would be the perfect revenge for her. Even if it had been 8 years since I had bought the Lie Detector test and used it against her, she still held on.

"Oh yes Emmie. Me and you? We're going to explore your past fully," she said, her smile getting even bigger. She looked mad scary. I flinched a wee bit.

"Go ahead guys, I'm ready when you are as always," said Maggie. Sweet little Maggie. She's cute but nothing compared to my Rosie. There is no one that could possibly compare to my sexy Rose.

"DO YOU MIND EMMETT? This is getting ridiculous. I do not ever want to see my sister in a nurse's outfit again!" Edward screamed.

"Do you want me to block his perverted little mind from you love?" Bella asked Edward. Freaking babies.

"Would you mind? He's going to make me kill him, again," responded Edward. Well hell it's not like I like having him in my mind all the time.

"Okay it's done. Let the Spanish Inquisition begin Renesmee."

"Have you ever had sex in public?" asked Nessie. So that's the path she was going to go down huh? Well I won't disappoint her…not at all…

"Many times…I've even gotten caught while in public once or twice," I answered unashamed.

"Truth." Looks like Maggie won't be commenting on anything I say. Hell she's probably to embarrassed.

"Dear god you really truly are a Satyriasis! My whole family needs therapy!" shouted Nessie. What the fuck is a satyriasis?

"Nessie what did you call me??"

"A satyriasis…you know, the male equivalent of a nymphomaniac. Someone who can't control there sexual desires," she explained slowly like I was a 2 year old. I knew letting her take sexual psychology was a really bad idea, but no one ever fucking listens to me.

I scowled but didn't deny it. I can so control my sexual desires but I just choice not to!

"If I ask you to be the priest at my wedding will you purposely and cruelly humiliate me? " asked Nessie. So she was thinking about having me officiate? Wicked! I never did get to do Eddie and Bells wedding.

"I would never purposely humiliate my little niece. Ever…"

"Lie, and a bad one I might add," declared Maggie. Spoil sport.

"Fine. Look Nessie, I would defiantly humiliate you but it wouldn't be cruelly, it would be because it's how I am and how I show my love. I know it's stupid and you would think I would have learned in the last 100 years or so but I haven't. I'm always the funny guy. I would still officiate with love and would do my best not to ruin your wedding, only make it better. However I would totally understand if you want a human to officiate. No matter what I'll still love my little angel," I said knowing it was strange for me to admit such things. Everyone looked kind of shocked. I poked Maggie until she spoke.

"Oh umm truth. Wow Emmett, all these years I just thought you were an idiot."

I rolled my eyes and waited for the next person to ask me a question. Idiot…yeah right.

"Have you ever been unfaithful to me?" asked Rosie. I kind of wondered why she even bothered asking. She knew well that I only have eyes for her.

"Never. Sure I've looked once or twice but nothing, human, vampire, or otherwise could ever compare. YOU are my everything, my only thing," I answered her, kissing her deeply, my hands caressing her beautiful body.

"DO YOU MIND?" shouted Jazzy. Of course the lust would be getting to him. I did feel a little guilty about that. It wasn't fair to him.

"Sorry Jazz, a little help?" I asked. Immediately I felt waves of calming come over me.

"Thanks bro. So who's next?"

"Truth and I do have a question. Am I aloud?" asked Maggie.

"Yes of course you are Maggie. Go ahead," said Nessie.

"Since this seems to be such a controversial question in this family, what is your favorite movie?" Maggie asked, curious.

"Oh see I don't have a controversial favorite. It's Mission Impossible. Dude! Have you seen the action in that shit?"

Everyone burst out laughing. Probably because I looked so excited just thinking about it. I would make an awesome spy. No one would be able to catch me. Maybe Jazzy, Eddie, and I could become like a spy team. Just as I opened my mouth to speak something came flying at me, hitting me upside the head. Looking down I realized it was a baseball.

"What the fuck?!" I shouted!

"Emmett McCarty Cullen, shut up right now! You will not solicit anyone in this family into becoming spies. We are supposed to blend in, not stand out you idiot," said Alice in a menacing voice.

"Whatever," I said shortly, then asked, "Where the fuck did you get a baseball anyways?"

I know we're not exactly a normal family but it's not like any of us are weird enough to carry a baseball with us at all times…it is Alice though so you never know.

"I picked it up off the floor where you and Jazz left it. You're really unobservant for a vampire."

"Whatever. Nessie, next question," I huffed.

"Which of the 7 deadly sins have you committed?" asked Ness.

"All…" I answered simply.

"Do I even have to say it? Truth…" said Maggie. How mean!

"Okay, what is something you've done to commit each of the sins? Let's start with lust," said Nessie.

"Have you looked at my wife?" I answered.

"Good point…What about gluttony?"

"Well when I was still human I would eat excessively but I also went to the gym so I would never lose my awesome physique. As far as since becoming a vampire, when I was a newborn I would constantly hunt excessively just because I could," I said laughing at the memories.

"How about greed? Alice's personal favorite," joked Ness.

"Have you looked around lately? It's not all Alice's doing…My sexy jeep would be my favorite proof of greed!"

"Yeah that's true, no one in this family goes without. Sloth?" Renesmee asked with a look on her face that said she already knew the answer.

"I've never really worked a day in my life. I believe that qualifies."

"Let's see…might as well ask…Wrath?" Nessie looked like she felt she was asking the oblivious, in a way she was.

I boomed out laughing and answered, "James, Victoria, Laurent, the list could go on forever…anyone who's ever had un-pure thoughts towards my Rosie…You get the idea."

"Okay try this one on for size, envy?"

"I envy humans for being able to produce that which I cannot give Rose," I said solemnly. I wrapped my arms around Rose, knowing how much we both desired children.

"I'm sorry," whispered Nessie before clearing her throat and continuing, "How about the final sin, the most deadly pride?"

"Doesn't everyone suffer from pride? I pride myself on being the strongest in the family, and the funniest!" I responded, my chest swelling proudly.

"Truth, it was all truth…" said Maggie.

"You do realize your going to hell Emmie? I'll miss you in heaven," joked Nessie.

Together as a family we all laughed and it felt good. I wouldn't give up any of them for anything. Even if we could drive each other up a wall and down a well.

"So this has been a lot of fun but I have some pent up…energy…to release, since a certain little niece of mine interrupted this morning. We'll see you all tomorrow."

I quickly snatched up Rosie before anyone could protest and ran into the garage. We hopped into her M3 and drove off, headed for a little shack of a place we knew.

A/N: I am so sorry if this is short and if it's not particularly funny. I'm not the best at the funny and Emmett is kind of hard to write. I tired putting myself in his head and I've decided I never, EVER, want to go there again! LOL He's kind of perverted but he's still just the big teddy bear no one can resist loving (once they get to know him that is). Also I'm sorry if the language insulted anyone but this is Emmett we're talking about. Yes satyriasis is a real word and yes it really is the male equivalent of a nymphomaniac (thank you Google). Any who, the next chapter should be up within the next week or so. I believe I'm going to TRY and dive into the blessed mind of Alice. Either her or maybe Jasper. Let me know what you guys thought of the chapter. Any questions or concerns or wants (like a specific character) let me know. I'll be happy to oblige!


	5. The Flashback

A/N: This is a dream Nessie is having of the day she told Jacob she loves him. It doesn't really contribute to the current story but I'm having some serious writers block with Alice and so I thought I would explore what Jacob said was the day he would love to live again.

"Jacob? Can we talk?" I asked shyly, my heart beating faster than normal.

"I'd love to Nessie. There's actually something I need to tell you," Jacob responded, looking just as nervous as me.

"How about we go to the cliffs. I would rather we talk about these things in private," I murmured quietly.

Jacob grabbed my hand and flung me upon his back, heading for the garage. We slipped into Jacob's Rabbit.

"We're going to the cliffs. We'll be back later," I shouted, knowing everyone within a mile would be able to hear me. Well every mythical creature that is.

We drove to La Push in silence. We we're both to lost in our thoughts to notice each other. As we pulled up to the cliff, I sighed deeply, causing Jacob to look at me questioningly.

I walked to the edge and sank down, motioning for Jacob to do the same.

"Jacob…I've been thinking a lot lately…" I started then fell silent, not sure how to continue.

"What have you been thinking about Renesmee?" he asked quietly, as though he wasn't sure he wanted to hear.

I took a deep breath, knowing this could and would make or break our relationship.

"I've been thinking about you Jacob. You've been with me for ever. The last 5 years have been amazing. Your so much more than a brother to me. You have always been there to catch me and I didn't really understand why. Why you never dated, why you never even looked at a girl…" I said, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.

"Nessie…" Jacob tried to start.

"No, let me finish…please…I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul and I seriously don't understand it. But there is one thing I know," I said as I grabbed the sides of his head, looking him in the eyes.

"I love you and I'm going to marry you one day! Plan your life accordingly! Got it?"

"Nessie? What are you saying? In plain English please because I'm a bit of an idiot at times as you know," asked Jacob. The look in his eye scared me. Had I crossed the line?

"I…I'm sorry," I said getting up and running towards the woods. I had just made a complete fool of myself and I knew it.

I heard him behind me and I pushed my legs to move faster. It was useless though, Jacob was always faster. He grabbed me by the waist and twirled me around.

"Jacob…I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. Please don't hate me," I begged. A strange expression crossed Jacob's face. It almost looked hurt. I knew I shouldn't have ever opened my big mouth. Uncle Jazz always says I never know when to hold my tongue, and that I get it from Uncle Emmie.

"Angel you have nothing to be sorry for. I'm the one that's sorry. I should have made myself clear. I just wasn't sure that I heard you right. Even if I have super sensitive hearing. Do you really truly love me and want to marry me some day?" Jacob asked, his hands still on my hips, keeping me from bolting.

"Yes…I do and I will," I answered quietly. My heart was beating so fast it sounded like one long sustained note.

"Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I wouldn't have it any other way. I love you too. Do you remember the stories I would tell you about the imprints and what it means?"

I thought back over the last 5 years. Jacob would always tell me stories of Emily and her Sam, Kim and her Jared, Claire and her Quil, and all the others. They were imprints which meant they were destined for each other…Wait, didn't Jacob always say that I was his imprint? I'm his one true love!

"Yes I remember. Am I your imprint?" I asked shyly.

"That you are Nessie. And so much more. I fell in love with you the day you were born. I've always believed that Bella was put in my life for me to meet you," Jacob said sweetly. I started to cry. I can't believe I was worried he didn't feel the same way.

Jacob bent down and kissed me passionately. Just as our lips met both our phones started ringing.

I pulled it out and saw Mummy on the display screen. Sighing I opened it, "Hello mummy."

"RENESSME CARLIE CULLEN! YOU GET YOUR LITTLE BUTT HOME RIGHT THIS INSTANT! I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING AND YOUR AUNT SAW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T COME HOME! YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES! YOUR FATHER IS TELLING JACOB THE SAME!"

I gulped. Whenever mum sounded this angry, you knew you were in for it. Before she was even finished I was already sprinting back to the car, Jacob right beside me.

"We're on our way. I promise," I shouted into the phone as I snapped it closed and threw it into the car, throwing myself with it.

Jacob jumped into the car with me, speeding back towards the house. Amazingly we made it to the house in exactly 5 minutes…Thank god Aunt Rosie upped the top speed on Jacob's Rabbit.

Standing in front of the house was my mum and dad, along with Carlisle and Esme, Alice and Jasper, Quil, Seth, and Embry.

"Thank god your home! If you ever do anything that stupid again I'll kill you myself Jacob!" screamed Alice. I was beyond confused. What exactly had Jacob done? Other than kiss me? And I wanted that…

"I think you should explain Alice. Renesmee is confused and quite frankly so is Jacob," said dad quietly, as Jazz nodded his head in agreement.

"Actually there both not only confused but scared and worried," commented Jazz.

"Well I had a vision of Jacob kissing you and you crying with joy…which is fine, we all knew it would happen one day. Then the vision changed, it was of you seducing Jacob and Jacob couldn't say no…more than 10 times…After the 11th no he said yes…And I knew it would ruin both of your lives if he were to give into you right now. Besides your parents would kill you. Your just like your mother Nessie," explained Aunt Alice.

"But I would never take away Nessie's innocence…It's one of the many things I love about her. I promise you, all of you, not to take that away from Nessie until we are lawfully married and then only if she wants me to," said Jacob sweetly, wrapping his arms around my waist protectively, lovingly.

"I can't believe you had a vision of me seducing me. I wouldn't think I would ever have the nerve…I guess I really am like mum," I said ashamed.

"Oh sweetie it's nothing to be ashamed of, it's in our blood. Just remember, sex before marriage is a very bad idea," my mum said lovingly.

I wonder if they'll be mad if we kiss…I truly did like that 2 second kiss we shared.

"Yes, Renesmee, you are aloud to kiss your boyfriend, but be a good girl and don't try and seduce Jacob. If he can't resist you, he'll beat himself up for the rest of eternity…if he survives…" said my dad. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Don't worry, I don't plan on seducing him any time soon. Now if you don't mind, I have a new boyfriend and I would like very much to kiss him," I said before turning around in Jacob's arms and planting a sweet kiss on his lips. I had to jump to reach them but he caught me and held me to him, kissing me back, before the family started making inappropriate noises.

"Put me down and get in the car," I said in his ear.

"Renesmee, be good…And have fun at your cliffs," said Alice, pulling Jazz inside. The rest of the family followed suit as we sped off into the sunset.

A/N: I was inspired to write this after reading The Blessing by Jude Deveraux. It doesn't really contribute to the current story but it did happen during the story. Yeah I'm tired and not making a lot of sense. I promise I'll finish up Alice's chapter soon.


	6. The Dissection of Alice

A/N: I hope this is funny but please understand I'm not much of a comedian, I'm more of a fluff/horror writer. Also I would like to explain the whole Nessie walking in on Em and Rose. She didn't see anything and yes it was awkward but it was supposed to be. It's what fueled her into choosing Emmett. Sorry if you didn't like it but it's my story and you don't have to read it. Anyways, on to the story…it's somewhat short…

"Mary Alice Brandon Cullen! What the HELL did you do to my wardrobe?" screamed Renesmee from her new room. I laughed, running up before she had the whole house up in arms.

"Calm down Nessie. I bought you some new clothes is all. Your old wardrobe was so blasé," I said to her as I sunk down on her bed.

"I will NOT calm down! Why do I need French fucking lingerie? Do you foresee me needing something THIS revealing?" Nessie continued to shout, holding up a little black number similar to the one I packed for Bella when she and Edward went to Isle Esme.

"I didn't see anything of the sort. I simply thought you would like something cute to wear to bed. Even if you don't thank me, Jacob will. Also I bought you some day clothes too," I replied.

"Shut up! Jacob won't thank you because he won't be seeing me in this…this…I don't know what the hell this thing actually is!"

I laughed, "It's a teddy."

"DAD! UNCLE JASPER! SOMEONE! Come help me before I kill her!" screamed my little drama queen. She shouldn't be aloud to hang out with Rose so much. It's bad for her.

In a flash Edward and Jasper were standing in the doorway.

"You rang?" joked Jazz as he sent out calming waves.

"Look what your…wife…decided to buy me! I do NOT need to sleep in anything this…tempting! So help me god if she doesn't give me some NORMAL clothes I will grab Jacob and go to Vegas!" Renesmee threatened.

I began panicking a little. She couldn't get married in Vegas! She's a Cullen! We don NOT get married in Vegas!

"Calm down Ali. Your going to kill Jasper. And at this rate your going to be the first vampire to have a heart attack. She's not going to cancel the wedding or relocate it in this case. The revenge she has planned is so much sweeter," Edward said, laughing.

I searched my future, somewhat frightened. What I saw caused me to swear under my breath.

"Shit, I'm your next victim?" I asked quietly.

"That you are," Nessie said as she stormed off.

******************************

Just pretend your shopping Alice. It'll all be over soon.

"Alice, talking to yourself isn't healthy. Even if your not talking out loud, your still talking to yourself," Edward said, looking smug.

"Get the hell out of my head Edward!" I snapped at him.

"I would if I could but I can't because Bella is visiting Charlie and Sue," he retorted.

Ah yes, Bella had decided to visit her dad and step-mum today with the boys. There was some sort of game on that the boys wanted to see, while Bella just missed her dad. Charlie had yet to be told about Renesmee and Jacob's recent engagement. Bella wasn't sure if Charlie's heart could handle it.

Today it's just Jasper, Renesmee, Edward, Maggie, Nahuel, and I. Though Nahuel just sits there quietly, occasionally having a whispered conversation with Nessie.

"So Alice, my first question…Do you enjoy torturing your only niece?" asked Nessie, glaring at me.

"I do not torture you! Normally you love it when I shop for you," I responded as Jazz calmed me, knowing I needed it. I radiated love and desire at him, letting him know I was thankful.

"Truth," Maggie said absentmindedly. She's been acting a little weird lately.

"What would you do if something…bad…happened to Uncle Jazz? Like someone were to kill him?" asked Nessie, always curious about the strangest of things.

"I would destroy whoever killed him before walking into a blazing fire. Life without Jasper would be pointless," I answered. Even if I had thought Edward was an idiot when he tried 'killing' himself, I could understand his reasoning. The only difference is, Edward left, causing Bella's little 'incident'. I would never leave Jazz, no matter what.

"What's the most illegal thing you've ever done?" fired off Renesmee, not even waiting for Maggie. Not that Maggie really noticed or cared for that matter.

"Murder," I answered simply. Isn't that the highest crime there is?

"Truth and truth."

"What's been your favorite crime committed?" asked Nessie.

"I once stole a yellow Porsche 911 Turbo. Your mother and I had to be some where in a hurry. We didn't have time to acquire a car legally at the time. A couple months later your dad bought me one legally to kidnap your mum," I said laughing. Even if it wasn't the happiest of days, it was a beautiful car…

"Truth."

"I've got one," said Edward suddenly, "Where did you hide my Volvo? I know you and Rose took it because I wouldn't let you take the girls shopping."

"I have absolutely no idea what your talking about Edward. Are you sure it's not in the garage?" I asked innocently.

Luckily Maggie was to busy staring at something to contradict me.

Glaring at me, Edward stood up and headed for the garage, while Nessie looked thoughtfully out the window.

"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" she asked philosophically.

I pondered that as Edward came back into the house, still glaring at me. I laughed at the look on his face before answering Renesmee. "I think I would sleep. I don't remember my human life but Bella always looked so content when she slept. When she wasn't having nightmares that is. And Edward, you need therapy. It's just a car."

"Oh if it's just a car then maybe I'll go pay yours a visit."

"Truth and truth and you all need therapy from what I'm finding out," Maggie said still staring intently at something.

"Ehh, no one's perfect. And we're the fun kind of crazy, thank you very much. What would you do if Jazz and Emmie suddenly switched personalities?" asked Nessie.

I laughed. That would be scary. If Jazz had Em's mindset, the house would be in shambles. No doubt he would use his gift to his comedic advantage, more so than he already does that is.

"I would scream and run away as fast as I could. If Jazz and Em switched personalities we would all be doomed. Sorry love, but you know it's true," I answered lightly kissing his nose.

"I love you," Jazz whispered.

"I love you too."

"Truth, all of it's the truth…" Maggie sighed deeply. I wondered briefly what her problem was…until Renesmee started again.

"What is the most embarrassing thing you've ever done or said?"

I had to think about that one. I've done a lot of stupid shit, especially since becoming a Cullen and meeting Emmett.

"Oh! I know! Em had Jazz manipulate Rose and I. He gave us both an overdose of lust and we started making out. They actually videotaped it. The boys thought it would be hilarious and hot…they learned their mistake quickly," I laughed. It was so embarrassing. Especially when it ended up on you tube.

"Truth and very scary…"

I laughed. Maggie had no idea just how scary it was.

Suddenly my mind was in a whole different state and I jumped up and down, shouting, "SALE! SALE! Jazz get the car, I'll get my purse!"

I ran into my room, leaving them all behind. There was a sale in Portland and I was NOT going to miss it.

"Get me some NORMAL clothes while your shopping Aunt Ali!" Renesmee shouted behind me.

A/N: Wow…I am so sorry it took me so long to write this one. I just had the most terrible bout of writers block. But I have a huge surprise coming up in the next chapter. I'll give you a little hint, it's going to be from Maggie's point of view. If you can guess what Maggie was staring at all day today, I will give you a special little preview of the next chapter (But it must be a signed review and it's only for the first 3 people who guess right…I can't give it all away now can I?) I hope you enjoyed and don't look for the next chapter to be comedic, it's going to be more fluff/serious…which is one of the reason's I'm using Maggie's point of view.


	7. Maggie The Inamorata

"Good morning Renesmee, Jacob, Nahuel. How are you 3?" I asked, looking up from my book.

"Fine, thank you Maggie. To the kitchen Jake, kitchen! I'm starving," said Renesmee from Jacob's back.

"I'm well. How about yourself?" asked Nahuel. I smiled as I listened to his heartbeat, such a melodic sound.

"Oh I'm good. Esme and I cooked up a feast. You should get some before the boys eat all of it. And I promise it is edible," I told him, laughing, as Jacob and Renesmee disappeared into the kitchen.

He laughed and sat down with me on the couch. Nahuel chose to sit at one end while I sat at the other, leaving a wide gap in the middle.

"I'm more in the mood for a drink. I'm going to go hunting soon. You could come with if you would like. However I'll warn you now, I'm hunting animals."

"You know, a vegetarian lifestyle sounds divine. I believe I shall try it. Who else will be joining us?" I asked excited.

"Just you and I if that's okay," he said shyly.

I had spent the last 3 day's staring at him, during the game, while he read, even while he slept. It may sound a wee bit stalkerish but I can't help myself.

I've been alone my whole existence. Sure I've had my coven but still, I was alone. Then, almost 7 years ago, I met Nahuel for the first time. I was to bust trying to make sure Renesmee survived to really meet him though.

But when I saw him again for Renesmee's 7th official birthday party, it was like I'd never seen him before. I loved the way the moonlight played in his hair, his onyx waves looking alive.

"Just the 2 of us would be fine. Do you want to go now or wait? I'm kind of thirsty," I said smiling.

He smiled back, standing, "Now would be excellent."

I too stood, heading out the back door. Nahuel walked beside me in silence. As we jumped across the river, we began running. Hunting for our first victims.

*********************************

"I feel much better now. That lion was actually really good," I said, dusting myself off, as I sat down on a boulder.

"I enjoyed it too. It's not quite as filling as a human but it doesn't make me feel like such a monster," said Nahuel as he sat down with me.

I so wanted to reach out and touch him, just to hold his hand. But I didn't dare.

"Maggie, can I ask you something?" Nahuel wondered shyly.

I looked into his eyes, "You can ask me anything."

Nahuel blushed lightly, "Would you like to go out with me sometime?"

If my heart could still beat I would have died from a heart attack. I couldn't believe this beautiful creature actually wanted to go out with me.

"Oh Nahuel. I'm so glad you asked me. I was to shy to ask. I think I'm in love with you," I confessed, knowing I would be blushing if I still could.

Nahuel wrapped his arms around me, cradling me to his chest. I felt at home there. Finally at peace.

Nahuel whispered, "I love you too."

Softly he kissed the top of my head. We sat together until the sun started going down, just reveling in each other company.

All to soon we had to head back to the Cullen's house. Holding hands we ran back.

A/N: So, did I shock you? Yes it was Nahuel that Maggie's been staring at. Ever since I started writing this story I imagined Maggie falling in love with Nahuel. I don't know why but I think they would make such a cute couple. Next up…Carlisle or Esme or Rose……………….I shall never tell…Okay…It's Carlisle…LOL It's going to be interesting peeking into Carlisle's mind. Please don't hate me if it take's me a while to write it. My cousin's birthday is Feb 26th, my birthday is March 5th, and my dad's is March 7th, so I have a lot of crap going on right now.


	8. An Examination Of Carlisle

Today had been a fairly quiet day. Only one emergency. It was a blessed miracle.

"Hey grandpa. How are you?" Renesmee greeted me from under the tree as she read. She looked so content. One of Renesmee's favorite hobbies is reading under that tree.

"I'm doing really well angel. Happy to be home as always. How are you? Reading anything good?" I asked as I walked towards her.

"I'm glad your doing well. I'm doing well too, just waiting to play since Maggie and Nahuel ran away yesterday. But I'm really happy for them. I'm reading Alice In Wonderland right now. I can't help but think of Aunt Alice and how she would have handled being in Wonderland. She probably would have killed the Queen Of Hearts," laughed Renesmee as she stood up.

Together we walked towards the house where Esme stood waiting for us. I walked into her waiting arms, hugging her close to me. Renesmee kept walking, giving us a chance for a very brief moment of alone time before we had to face the children.

After a few blissful but all to short moments, we turned and walked into the house. The children were all sitting around the living room, the girls perched on their significant others laps. The 3 boy's that didn't have anyone special right now sat on the couch.

"Hello children. What's going on?" I asked. They all had the most mischievous looks on their faces, even Maggie and Nahuel. I had a feeling they would be joining our family soon.

"Darling grandpa, it's your turn to go under the microscope of truth. Have a seat," explained Renesmee as she gestured towards the only vacant chair. I sighed, sitting down. I knew it would be pointless to argue. Esme perched herself on the arm of the chair.

"Alright Renesmee, I'll play. What's your first question?" I asked, pulling Esme down so she was sitting on my lap.

"If you could change your fate, would you? You know the whole, being a vampire thing…" Renesmee inquired, always the curious one.

"To be honest angel, no. If I did I would lose everything. Being human isn't worth losing all of you," I answered, holding my beautiful Esme closer to me.

"Truth," smiled Maggie. I had a feeling she understood now that she has Nahuel.

Instinctively everyone gripped there loved ones closer.

"What's your favorite book?" asked Jasper. He had always been a huge lover of books.

"One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest by Ken Kesey. It's also my favorite movie. I don't know why exactly," I answered.

"Truth and that's a really good book. Personally I prefer Crime And Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky though," said Maggie.

Jacob was gently massaging Renesmee's back as he asked, "If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you choose to live?"

"Well I've lived in many places in my 300 plus years. However this house, this wonderful place, is my favorite. Forks has brought so many new and interesting things into my life. So many wonderful people. Like you, and my newest daughter, and amazing little granddaughter," I answered, smiling at my amazing family.

I had been blessed with more than I could ever have asked for. I had my beautiful wife Esme. All my amazing children, Edward, Bella, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper, Jacob, Seth, Quil, and Embry. And of course my sweet, innocent, little Renesmee, a miracle.

"It's my favorite place too," sighed Bella. "I'll miss it when we leave."

Edward wrapped his arms tighter around Bella and whispered, "We'll come back as soon as we can. I promise."

"If you had to change you name, what would you change it to?" asked Bella.

"As weird as it sounds, I've always liked the name Crescent. I think Crescent Cullen has a nice ring to it. But then again I'm terrible at naming people," I laughed, as did everyone else.

"Truth and good choice."

Emmett asked, "What is the craziest thing you've even done?"

"I changed you," I responded laughing. It took Emmett about 2.5 seconds to realize just what I had said.

Suddenly there was a hail storm of pillows being hurled at me. I simply laughed harder. Everyone joined in.

"Truth," Maggie managed to gasp out between laughs.

After a few minutes everyone was settled down enough for us to continue.

"If you could die, how would you like to go dear?" Esme asked from my lap.

I thought about that for a few moments. There are so many ways to die. Shooting, stabbing, cancer, plane crash, shark attack, snake bite, drowning, ect…I think I've seen it all at one point or another.

"Stuffed in a Teddy Bear shop…" I said, knowing I would go down in history for that one.

"Truth but I think something like being thrown into an active volcano would be more…exciting…" laughed Maggie.

"I would die in a hailstorm of bullets!" Emmett announced proudly. I guess that's Emmett for you. That's the best explanation I could give for my truly…unique…son. All my children could seriously use some major therapy. Hmm…I wonder if there's such a thing as a vampuric therapist. Note to self: look into it.

"Good luck with that dad. And you need it just as badly as we do," Edward said, rolling his eyes.

Everyone stared at him questioningly. Edward simply shook his head and said, "Later."

"Okay then. If, god forbid, something should happen to your car and you had to get a new one, what would you get?" asked Rose, my little grease monkey. Of course Edward shook with silent laughter at that little comment.

"I would probably get a Koenigsegg CCX. Actually I may have to acquire one of them anyways," I answered thoughtfully.

It really was a beautiful car. Swedish made sports car, 2 door roadster, has a top speed of 259 mph, 0-60 mph in about 3 seconds…Oh yeah, I'm defiantly acquiring one soon. Maybe I'll have Rose look into it tomorrow.

"Nice car," commented Maggie.

"One of the best," Rose said.

"Favorite music?" Edward asked. I wasn't surprised. Each of my children had their 'thing' and Edward's was music.

"The fifth nocturne of Ignace Leybach would have to be my favorite piece of music," I answered.

I watched the sun set behind the trees out of the glass wall and just as it dropped out of view Seth let out a big yawn.

"Tired Seth?" asked Embry, poking him.

"You think? I haven't been sleeping to well lately. Your snoring can be really bothersome," Seth retorted. Good use of the word bothersome, Seth!

Quil laughed and nodded his head in agreement.

Embry, who sat in the middle of the couch, whacked them both upside the head. Quil reacted by elbowing Embry in the ribs while Seth brought down his foot on Embry's.

"Boys!" chided Esme. "No fighting in the house! You know the rules. I know Embry's snoring is keeping the two of you awake. We'll have your new rooms finished by tomorrow night. It's not my fault y'all decided to take out 2 walls while you we're playing with Jasper and Emmett. That's why all 4 of your are grounded and why you 2 have to stay with Embry and why Jasper and Emmett had to eat 3 human meals."

We all had to laugh at the memory of Jasper and Emmett eating human food. You would think we asked them to eat dirt…which we essentially did but you do not break Esme's house. She's very touchy about that.

The house we're moving into in a month is about twice as big as this one, to accommodate our ever expanding family. Hopefully the boys won't be able to destroy the new house as easily. It has been built to very specific guidelines. Like the soundproofing, which won't actually silence anything for us, only make it harder to hear, thank god. Everyone also has there own rooms and attached bathrooms. There will also be around 10 studies and a swimming pool. Plus a 25 car garage. It'll be a beautiful house. Esme and Alice will be heading up there early to decorate.

"Okay I guess it's time for those with human needs to sleep and the rest of us have something to do tonight I'm sure. Sleep well or whatever children. Goodnight," I said as I got up and walked out of the room with Esme.

"Goodnight children, behave," called out Esme over her shoulder.

A/N: Okay, here's a small peek into the interesting mind of Carlisle. I enjoyed writing this chapter because personally I love seeing how Carlisle views his family. Even Jacob and his wolf pack are Carlisle's kids (With the exception of Leah, who still hate's them.) Next up will be either Jasper or another little chapter like the flashback and Maggie's chapter. It depends. Like I said last time this time of year is really hectic for me so I might not be able to update as often as I would like. I'm not sure how long this story is going to end up being. Probably another 10 chapters if I'm lucky. We'll see. Review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. If you look on my profile, I have some pictures like of Carlisle's car and Renesmee, Seth, Nahuel, and Maggie.


	9. A Day Of Surprises

I woke up surprisingly comfortable, my arms wrapped around my beautiful wife. I softly kissed the nape of her neck.

"Good morning dear. How'd you sleep?" Sue asked me, snuggling in closer.

"Amazingly well," I said, rubbing her stomach. "Do we really have to get out of bed today? Let's call in sick."

Sue laughed brightly, "I'm sorry my love but we're expecting company and you know it!"

I groaned, whining a little. I had forgotten Bella, Edward, Renesmee, and Jacob were coming over today. Maybe even Seth and Leah too. Though I doubted Leah would show. Apparently she hates the Cullen's but I didn't want to know why.

Sue sat up and crawled out of bed. She began poking me, "Come on sleepy head. Get out of bed. It's almost 9. They'll be here soon."

Wow. 9 a.m. I guess I slept longer than I thought. With a defeated sigh I crawled out of bed.

************************************************************

I heard the front door open. I called out, "Hello Bells. One day I'm going to lock the front door just to hear you knock."

Bella and Edward walked into the kitchen, hand-in-hand. They both looked a little on edge but I didn't bother commenting.

Next came Seth, also looking weird, although his expression was more like contempt.

Finally Renesmee and Jake walked in. They both looked scared witless. I was shocked to see Nessie clutching Jake like her life depended on it.

"Ness? Are you alright?" Sue asked, sounding very worried, before I could even open my mouth.

"She's fine Sue. Really. I promise. It's just been an interesting morning is all. She's lucky she isn't grounded right now," Bella said, giving Nessie a death glare.

Nessie flinched and shifted to where she was even more hidden behind Jake. If Bella decided to attack her daughter she would have to kill Jake first.

"Wait, what exactly did Renesmee do?" I asked curiously.

Edward chuckled while Seth laughed so hard I was worried he would need medical attention.

Bella stared at what little of Nessie that was visible until the little girl sighted in defeat. Though I guess I couldn't really call Renesmee little anymore.

"I…um…we…" Nessie started, scared. She was shaking slightly. Jacob turned around and hugged her tightly.

Sighing again she said, "Look I stole a car, snuck out of the house, tried to escape the Mexico, and accidentally kidnapped Seth while I was doing it."

Sue and I were shocked into silence while Seth continued to laugh his ass off.

Sue was the first to thaw out and snapped, "Just what the HELL is so funny Seth Clearwater?!"

"I was asleep in the back seat of Carlisle's Mercedes when Nessie decided to make her little run for the sun, so to speak. And before you ask, Esme drove me to it. She extended our punishment because we broke another wall…" Seth said quickly.

They broke a wall? And not just A wall, ANOTHER wall!? Sue looked incredulous. Her face was a strange redish purple color. I felt myself panicking a little.

"SETH MICHAEL ANTHONY CLEARWATER! Carlisle and Esme are kind enough to let you live there and you thank them by BREAKING MULTIPLE WALLS?! I don't care who was also evolved or under what circumstances the walls were broken, you are in SO much trouble right now!" screamed Sue, jumping up and getting right in Seth's face.

Worried, I too jumped up.

"Susan! You need to calm down. Please think about this. Think about your condition," I begged, wrapping my arms around her.

"I promise you Mrs. Swan, Esme is not all that upset. In fact, she found round 2 to be quite amusing. They actually made it necessary for her to extend their punishment because they took out the same wall twice. But about this condition, are you ill?" Edward asked, helping calm down Sue.

Sue sighed heavily and sank into the nearest chair. She murmured something to low for me to hear but caused everyone to laugh a little.

"Please Edward, it's Sue. We're practically family after all. I'm fine. Charlie's just being mellow dramatic," Sue said glaring at me.

"So Ness, why exactly were you running to Mexico?" I asked, praying Sue doesn't kill me.

Nessie looked scared again. Maybe I didn't want to know.

"Mum and dad say I have to give you and Sue the news…in person…I would have made it to," Renesmee explained. "Stupid all knowing Aunt!"

Renesmee continued muttering threatening sounding things under her breath.

Suddenly I heard a faint but furious scream.

"How's she like THEM apples?!?" declared Renesmee, looking triumphant.

Edward said sharply, "Renesmee Carlie Cullen you will NOT touch Alice's clothes. Now tell your grandparent's the news. Shut up Jacob. She had to do it herself for stealing Carlisle's car."

"I'm getting married…To the most amazing man in the whole wide world and just PLEASE remember things in our world work different. I'm an adult. Please don't over react," she begged.

I took a deep breath, trying oh so hard not to freak out. She's an adult now, just remember that. She may not have been alive for more than 7 years but she's an adult in their totally messed up world. Deep breaths Charlie, deep breaths.

"Who?" I managed to choke out, surprising myself a little.

"Jake," she whispered so quietly that I had to strain to hear her. I was positive I must have misheard what she said. She hadn't said Jake, she had named some random stranger. Blake's his name…not Jake.

"I'm sorry Charlie. She really did say Jake and yes she means Jacob Black," Edward said calmly.

My 7 year old granddaughter, who grew way to fast, and my best friend's 20 something year old son, who could turn into a giant wolf at will, were getting married. It was to much for my mind to take. I felt my world going black.

The last thing I heard before I hit the floor was, "I'm calling Carlisle. Catch him."

As the darkness enveloped me, my mind began to race frantically. It first realized that Edward had literally read my mind but I dismissed that almost immediately. I already knew that to a degree. It didn't bother me much anymore.

What did bother me was the simple fact that my granddaughter was getting married when I didn't even know she was dating and the many deeper complications it would undoubtedly present. How is it possible that my granddaughter is engaged to the man that was once head over heels in love with my daughter?

Fucked up didn't even begin to cover this family.

As I felt myself awake, my favorite little pixie's face bobbed in front of me.

"Alice? What are you doing here?" I asked, confused. Just how long was I out for?

"I was worried about you silly," Alice said, helping me sit up on the couch where I now laid.

"So there's going to be another wedding in the family huh?" I asked casually.

"Yeah Charlie. Are you okay with that?" Alice asked quietly.

"I guess…Do I have a choice?" I said, looking around.

"What do you think love? Does our news still top theirs?" Sue asked as I looked at her.

I laughed, "Oh I don't know. Why don't we see if we can make one of them faint?"

Sue came over and sat next to me. I hugged her close as everyone stared at us curiously.

"Well guy's…We have some news too. Seth…Bella…Your going to have a little brother or sister…We're pregnant," Sue said quietly.

"Holy shit…" was all Seth could say.

Hey guy's! I'm sorry this has taken like forever for me to write but my life has been hella hectic. My grandmother was just hospitalized and I've been getting ready for my birthday on Thursday. But I did finally get it to you and I made it juicy. Yes that's right, Charlie and Sue is going to have a little nudger of their own. :D I'm not going to tell anyone if it's a boy or a girl or any of that. You'll just have to wait and see. ;) Sue's about 3 months pregnant or so. They've been waiting to tell the kids until they we're sure. I'll start working on the next chapter tonight whilst I'm in the hospital. Hope everyone is well. I PROMISE Jasper is next.


	10. The Emotion's Of Jasper

_IMPORTANT A/N: Okay I need to explain Nessie real quick because I couldn't get Jasper to do it all without it running on to much. Nessie can: Show people things simply by touching their skin. Extract images from someone's mind simply by touching their skin. She can use other peoples powers by touching their skin. She's working on doing it all without touching people and is doing quite well but doesn't quite have the hang of it yet. That is all. Proceed with reading the story._

"So he actually fainted? Show me!" Quil asked Nessie, excitement pouring off him.

To be honest I wasn't shocked Charlie fainted. It's a lot to swallow. I bet Emmett he would have a heart attack. I was surprised to find out Sue's pregnant. Another little munchkin is always more than welcome.

I looked up from my book to see Nessie showing Quil Charlie's reaction to the news. Alice floated into the room as Nessie extracted her hand from Quil's.

Just as Alice's power had grown to see the werewolves and for lack of better term half-breeds, Nessie's power had grown too. She no longer had to touch people's face's to show them her pictures. She could show them simply by touching any exposed skin. Lately she'd been practicing showing people without even touching them. She's doing good for someone who's only 7.

Nessie found she could also use people's power's when she was touching them. She loved using it to her advantage with her parent's. She would cling to her mum so her dad couldn't hear her thoughts.

"Hey everyone, we're going to play another round. Pick someone Nessie," Alice said, dancing over to me.

Contemplation rolled off of Renesmee as fear rolled off Quil. Guess he didn't want to be today's victim.

"Jasper…You know I love you right? It's just that it's your turn…" Renesmee said feeling worried and a little shy.

"I know you love me my darling little Miss Cookie Monster. It's okay. I knew it was going to happen soon or later," I told her as she settled into my lap. I wrapped my arms around her as love and excitement filled the room. Along with a lot of relief from Quil. I hope he realizes one of these day's he will have to go under the light.

"Shall we go find the rest of the family then? We'll play under your favorite tree," I told her as I stood up with her in my arms.

*******************************************

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Edward, Emmett, Renesmee, Maggie, Seth, Nahuel, and I sat under Renesmee's favorite oak tree in the front of the house. The rest of the family was either hunting or down in La Push.

Renesmee asked, "Have you ever manipulated our emotions for your own voyeuristic amusement?"

I laughed freely. Reliving all the wonderful memories of when I had manipulated their emotions just for the fun of it..

"Am I aloud to plead the 5th? No? Well then yes. Yes I have," I said as everyone started sobbing loudly though most of us couldn't cry.

"Stop it!" chocked out Edward.

I relented the despair I had hit them with, replacing it with joy and happiness.

Soon everyone was happy enough for the game to continue.

"Obviously truth," Maggie said, still shaking a little. I sent her an extra wave of calm.

"What's your favorite scary movie?" Jacob asked, trying to sound like the killer off of Scream.

I didn't even need to think about it, "Scream of course you idiot. I've watched it HOW many times?"

"Truth. What's your favorite thing to…drink?"

"Oh so many wonderful choice…Panda's have a certain unique flavor…But I love Puma…It's the best," I said casually.

The tastiest think I've ever drank is human blood but I don't like human blood. Puma is exotic and feisty. Perfect for me.

"Truth."

Surprise radiated from more than one family member. I'm glad I can still surprise them after all these years.

"What did you think of me when we were first introduced?" asked Bella, curiosity and even a little fear coming off her.

"Honestly Bella? I thought you were beautiful, intelligent, and delectable. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you, you were going to be my little sister," I told her as I pulled her into a tight hug.

Bella is what really brought this family together. She gave us our humanity.

Carlisle asked, "What's the kinkiest thing you've ever tried in the bedroom?"

Holy shit! Did Carlisle seriously just ask about my sex life?!

I think if I could have blushed I would have. Taking a deep breath, I looked at the sky so I wouldn't have to look at anyone when I answered.

"We…um…tired S&M. Whips and chain's excite me," I mumbled lowly as Bella covered Nessie's ears. Alice looked mortified to say the least.

"Oh my giddy gods trousers! I only have one word…THEREPY!" said Maggie as shock rolled off of her.

Esme followed up with, "What's your wildest fantasy?"

What the fuck is with my parent's? How is it they ask the more awkward questions than Emmett?!?

"Threesome," I whispered so low everyone had to strain to hear it. They did hear it though and they were all to flabbergasted to speak.

Alice had already known what I was going to say so she didn't seem as flustered.

"If today was your last day on earth what would you do?"

I had to think about that. Even having lived as long as I have, I wasn't ready for it to be over.

"I would spend that time with y'all. Being with my family until the very end," I answered, pulling Ali closer.

"Truth and truth," Maggie said, leaning against Nahuel.

We all sat quietly thinking about what we would do if it came that time. That was until Rose decided to speak.

"Do you know how to pole dance?" she asked, staring me down.

Alice practically fainted in my arms. I'm guessing she saw my answer before I had a chance to voice it.

"Yes Rose. I do know how to pole dance and I do it really well. In fact, I'm thinking about having a strippers pole put into our room in Alaska. What do you think Ali?" I asked, massaging her still shoulders.

Rose felt shocked and slightly disturbed by my answer and the emotions only intensified as Maggie informed everyone I wasn't lying. Then everyone but Rose and Alice burst out laughing. Alice had yet to move from her "fainting" spell.

Feeling slightly anxious I looked at Carlisle and found myself quoting Bella from all those years ago.

"Umm Dad? Is it possible for vampires to go into shock?" I knew Alice wasn't truly dead because she was feeling baffled and truly dead people can't have emotion.

Carlisle laughed, "If Bella's pregnancy didn't send Edward into a permanent state of shock than I doubt your hidden talent will send Alice over the edge."

Alice shuddered at Carlisle's words then in a wicked voice said, "He may pole dance but I strip tease!"

Ali shook her body suggestively causing us all to laugh once again.

The feelings surrounding me were those of delight, euphoria, and merriment. That was until we all heard the car approaching the house. We weren't expecting any visitors. The emotions turned to wonder, confusion, and uncertainty.

As the car pulled into view there was a collective gasp. No one expected either of them to be here.

_A/N: So…Jasper has a kinky hidden talent…Oh no…cliffy! Who's in the car? I'll give you a hint. We all know the driver but the passenger is a stranger to us (And I'm thinking them too…) I promise you I will have the next chapter up as soon as possible. I'm writing it as we speak. Or well…as you read…Whatever…So I'm 18 now! Yay! Still have to find a job though. Boo. Okay so onwards and upwards. I've decided that I'm going to continue the story for as long as I can…even after the game has run out of players. Also expect more chapters like the next one and the last one that have nothing to do with the game. I do plan on having the wedding in the near future. Alice is going to explode when she finds out WHEN._

_To my faithful readers and reviewer's: Thank you for staying with me. I would like to take this time to address each of my reviewers individually._

_Tianna M.V.A.: 3 things…1) Thank you 2) Carlisle wasn't humiliated for a reason and you'll soon find out why ;)…maybe… 3) If Bella could still dream, she would have nightmare's about 'it'._

_TRDancer: Haha coolie…I haven't heard that one in a while! I'm glad you like it._

_Team Sparkel Fleas: one word. Thanks._

_AliceCullenRocks-2009: Leah will have to be fixed now won't she? x_

_------------------: I like awkward and weird…and it's hard to constantly think of new questions and answers. I know they get a little repetitive with Emmett. Sorry._

_TwilightKicksAss: Thanks_

_Angelzawright89: Wait until you see the wedding! I'll have you sobbing I bet…_

_Bad Wolf Jr: Alice is going to go nuts soon about A LOT of things…_

_Samablue38: Thanks_


	11. A Single Tear

We pulled up in front of the mansion and I was a little shocked to see them all sitting outside. I had hoped for at least a few short moments before I had to face them.

I took a deep breath, calming the tremors throughout my body.

Lucas's voice broke into my mind, bringing me back to reality. "It's going to be fine love. After all they are family are they not?"

I looked deep into his eyes, making sure he still had his sanity. Apparently his sanity was still in tact, causing me to sigh loudly.

"Yes, I guess they are family. Hell Seth is my brother and Bella's my step-sister. Shall we?" I asked looking over the group. All of them were standing and looking at the car apprehensively.

"Yes we shall. It will be alright love. I promise," Lucas said before getting out of the car and walking over to take my hand. I took a deep breath as we walking to my doom.

"Hello everyone. I'd like you to meet Lucas…my…imprint…" I said as casually as I could muster while everyone looked at me like I had grown another head. I couldn't honestly blame them.

Seth walked to me, hugging me tightly.

"Lucas, this is my brother Seth. That's Jacob, Renesmee, Edward, Bella, Rose, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, I don't know those two, Jasper, and…" I said, pointing to them each in turn.

"And Mary Alice Brandon. My…sister…" Lucas finished for me. He looked as shocked as Alice and I.

"That's Maggie and Nahuel," Alice said, quietly. "I'm sorry but I don't remember my human life Lucas. I only remember my life after being turned."

Lucas smiled at her gently, lovingly.

"You're my twin sister. There is no record of me. I wanted it to be that way. I know you have a wonderful life now and I know you don't remember me. If you should have ever gotten curious, I didn't want you to find a monster in your closet. However, over the last 10 year's I've been looking for you. Even since I found out you can looking for yourself. I only remember our human life because of my power. I see that past and the present as it unfolds.

Our parent's were scared and ashamed of our visions. They shunned us, denied that we were their children and stuck us into that…place…We we're separated from each other. Boys with boys, girls with girls. I found ways of keeping track of you though. The vampire that changed you? I asked him to take care of you because I couldn't. He truly cared for you.

Then…James…came along and wanted to kill you. Michael saved you. When James found out he killed Michael. An angel named Emily changed me. She did it out of pity. We parted ways shortly after I was changed. I had chosen quite quickly to be a 'vegetarian'. I never wanted to harm anyone. I was turned 3 months after you but by the time I was turned you were long gone. I've missed you so much Mallie. You we're the first thing I saw when I was turned. A vision of us, 6 years old and playing patty cake," he explained. His eye's glazing over as he looked into the past.

Alice looked stunned but not disbelieving. Maggie whispered something in Alice's ear. Alice nodded quickly and smiled at Lucas.

"Would you like to go into the house and talk? I'm sure Seth and Leah would love to catch up," Alice said, holding Jasper's hand.

"I would love to Mary," Lucas said.

"My name is Alice Cullen now. Please don't be offended. I will always be Mary Alice Brandon Cullen but I go by just Alice now," she said, walking towards the house between Jasper and Lucas.

The rest of the family…my family…wandered off, giving Seth and I some privacy.

"So…um…how'd you meet Lucas?" Seth asked quietly. I could tell he was a little nervous. It had been a while since we'd had a good old fashioned heart-to-heart.

"I was down south when I met him. He was in Biloxi, Mississippi. He's so much like Alice. I can't believe I never guessed Alice and Lucas were related. My pixie man," I said, laughing.

"I heard that wolf girl! Don't make me come out there!" Lucas called from inside the house. I heard a whisper of a laugh. Lucas can be so damn touchy.

"Have you found anyone yet?" I asked him.

"Nope," he responded, his lips popping on the 'p'. "Besides there's really no point in dating when we're moving so soon."

We sat down under the tree I had found them under as silence filled the air.

"Did you hear about mum and Charlie?" Seth asked me.

"You mean about the baby? Yeah, they told me today when I introduced them to Lucas," I smiled. Another sibling would be amazing.

"How'd they react to Lucas?" Seth asked as he too smiled.

"I've seen worse. Charlie said something like, 'I bet he's a Cullen, looks just like them.' and mum said something like, 'As long as your sure.' At least no one yelled or had a heart attack."

"Did you tell mum he's an imprint?" Seth asked.

"Yeah. She gets it. We're lucky to have someone so understanding for a mum," I said, wrapping my arms around Seth's shoulder.

A single tear rolled down my cheek. "Dad would have probably freaked out. But he's not here anymore so I guess it doesn't matter. I miss him. Charlie's a great man though and he love's mum so much. I haven't seen mum this happy in almost 20 years. Unfortunately not even dad could make her that happy."

Seth hugged me tightly as we stood up. It had started to rain and we didn't want to get soaked. Charlie really is an amazing man. He's made mum smile in ways I've never seen before.

Together we walked into the living room. Alice was sitting on Jasper's lap across from Lucas. They seemed to be getting along really well. I have a feeling we'll be moving to Alaska soon.

Suddenly Alice sprung to her feet, alarming Lucas, Seth, and I. She began screaming, "NO! No! No! No! No! NO! N-O, NO! A month is NOT enough time to plan and execute a wedding WHILE getting ready for the move to Alaska!!"

Jasper tried in vain to calm her down. I was confused as to who's wedding she was referring to. I really should have come by more often.

"Where are they? I'll kill them! RENESMEE! JACOB! This isn't fair!" Alice continued to scream.

Ah, Jacob and Renesmee we're getting married. Wicked.

"Calm down love. They went for a run. I'm sure they'll be home soon. They probably ran to the cliffs," Jasper said, grasping Alice tightly around the waist, holding her still.

"So help me god they're out to kill me. I swear of it. This is going to take a team effort to pull off. Esme, Bella, Rose…Leah, even your going to have to help if we want to pull this wedding off in a month. Do you mind?"

I was a little flabbergasted. Alice and I have never exactly been friends…or even frienemies…

"I…uh…I'd love to help…If you want me to…" I stammered out.

"We'll have to work on the design to your and Lucas's room in Alaska while we're at it. Your moving in with us of course," she said in a way that almost dared me to tell her we wouldn't be moving in.

"Anything you want Alice. I am at your command," I said, bowing laughingly. The family joined in.

It amazed me that in the last half hour, the Cullen's had went from being family of family to being actual family. I smiled broadly at the thought.

Lucas stood behind me and wrapped his arms around my middle. A sweet gesture he had been doing since I met him. "I love you," he whispered in my ear.

I blushed a little, turning around in his embrace, "I love you too."

I rested my head on his shoulder for a moment before Alice's phone began ringing.

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world. Life in plastic, it's fantastic. You can do my hair, undress me anywhere._

"You have some explaining to do," she answered the phone. It must be Renesmee…that explains the ring tone.

A/N: Here it is loves. I totally am in love with this chapter. Well at least the part where Lucas is explaining everything to Alice. So…who was expecting it to be Leah in the car?? And who would have thought she would have imprinted ON A VAMPIRE! Oh my giddy gods trousers! Alice has 4 short ass weeks to plan Nessie's wedding. I said she was going to be going nuts soon. Now she has to: 1) Plan a wedding 2) Get the new house in Alaska ready 3) Catch up with the brother she never knew she had and 4) Well…4 is a surprise…Mwahahahaha!!!! Next chapter I promise to have Nessie explain the whole wedding thing. I believe the next chapter is going to be Esme's then we're going to do a little time skipping. Writing the meltdown of Alice would be to hard but I promise you'll be able to see the end of the explosion and then the beautiful wedding. I'm working on finding Nessie a dress right now. Along with Bridesmaid's dresses. If you have any suggestions for dresses, show me! Thank you all for reading. Review if you want. XoXo Ashley


	12. A Disturbing Veiw of Esme

_**IMPROTANT A/N: Some may find this chapter deeply disturbing due to Esme's answer to some of the questions. Sowwies. You can skip it if you wish but only if your are truly squeamish.**_

My house has been a wreck the last 2 weeks. Alice, Bella, Rosalie, Maggie, Leah, and I had been emerged in wedding plans while Carlisle, Emmett, Edward, Jasper, Jacob, Seth, Embry, Nahuel, and Lucas were busy with moving preparations. Quil was helping Claire pack most of the time. It would be strange having another full human in the house. I would have to make sure no one broke her.

Alice was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Even Edward and Bella's wedding hadn't pushed her this close to the edge.

I could understand why Renesmee wanted to have the wedding before we moved to the remote town of Tanana, Alaska. When we moved our age clocks would reset, so to speak. She would be 15 year old Nessie Swan, sister to Bella and Alice Swan. She wouldn't be able to get married for another 3 years, at least, in Alaska.

Besides, she wanted to get married on the cliffs in La Push. Just as Bella and Edward had their meadow, Jasper and Alice had their brook, and Emmett and Rose had their shack, the cliffs were Jacob and Renesmee's place to be alone together. Even Carlisle and I had our ouw little place, as I'm sure all the couple's in this family do.

I still can't believe my family went from Carlisle, Edward, and I to 18 people. 10 vampires, 5 werewolves, 2 halflings, and 1 purely human child. That's not even mentioning the extended family!

Thinking through it all was giving me a headache. I need to find a distraction.

Renesmee sauntered into the room, providing the perfect escape. "Hey Esme! We've all decided we need a break from all the plans and preparations. We're meeting outside in 10 minutes. The living room is just to small to fit everyone comfortably.

I laughed, getting up from the floor where I had been sketching. "Thank goodness the house in Alaska is so big! We're going to have to forget about buying houses at this rate and invest in a small village."

*************************************************************

Once everyone was settled, the questions began relentlessly.

Jasper was the first to speak. "Do you have any secret hidden talents?"

Sure…ask the hard questions right out of the gate. I thought about that for a minute. I have a lot of talent's but are any of them hidden?

"Well…I can swear in every known language and a few unknown languages," I answered. Most of the family laughed due to the fact that they thought I couldn't physically swear.

"Esme…you swear? Since when?" Maggie asked, shocked that I hadn't been lying.

I laughed, "Since I was about 16. That was the first time I ever uttered a swear word, but enough about that. Shall we continue?"

Emmett spoke next, "What's the kinkiest thing you've ever done?"

This was not going to end well. I was young and a little crazy. It only happened the once but I would say it's the kinkiest thing I've ever done.

"I took a bath in fresh cougar blood…" I answered, burying my face in my husbands shoulder.

"Oh…my…giddy…gods…trousers…" the family whispered as one.

Rose recovered first asking, "What is your wildest sexual fantasy?"

I would be blushing if I could be, "To have Carlisle in that bath with me…"

"Truth…" Maggie choked out, sounding unbelieving. I could only imagine the thoughts running through her head.

What can I say? The feeling of warm blood washing over me was wonderful. And the fact that it was cougar blood made it all the funnier in my opinion. Normally I hated the taste of cougars but on that night it was so blissfully wonderful. I had gotten the idea from a book I had read on Countess Elizabeth Bathory.

"Getting away from that…highly disturbing…avenue…Do you have any regrets?" Carlisle asked from behind me.

"Of course not. Because everything in this life has lead to this moment, this family. I wouldn't want anything to be different," I responded, leaning into him.

"Truth," smiled Maggie.

"I love you," Carlisle whispered into my ear.

"I love you too," I whispered back.

Rose asked the next question, turning the conversation back to the disturbing. "Have you ever had sex in public?"

"No, unlike Emmett and you, Carlisle and I are more private," I answered laughing. The thought of having sex in public bothered me to no end for some reason.

"What's your favorite sound to hear?" asked Bella. They were all over the place today with their questions.

"My favorite sound would be the sound of the rain, softly falling on a cool fall night," I answered, closing my eyes as I remembered the sound.

"Truth and truth…" Maggie said smiling.

"Who's your favorite Disney princess?" Renesmee asked me, leaning into Jacob. She looked tired. I don't think she's been sleeping well lately.

"Cinderella because she got the prince in the end," I laughed.

"Truth," Maggie said.

Jacob looked thoughtful and I had a feeling the next question would come from him.

"What would you do if you knew you could not fail?" he asked quietly. This seemed to be a popular question lately. And a good one at that. There were so many things I would do if I could. Like have a real child. Or eat real food. Maybe even fly. Flying sounds nice…Soaring through the clouds, at one with the winds…

From the corner of my eye I saw Edward shaking with silent laughter. I glared at him, warning him with my eyes that he better not be laughing at what he's hearing in my head. His shaking suddenly stopped as a picture of Carlisle and I flashed through my mind.

"I would go with…flying…without a plane," I finally decided. I already had children and the food I enjoy is real enough.

"Truth. And probably one of the things I would do too," Maggie said.

"Well children…I hate to cut this short but we really do have a lot of planning and preparing to do. We should get back to it," I said, moving to stand up.

"She's right," sighed Bella.

_**A/N: OMC! I am so so so SO sorry! I realize that this has been like 5 days in the writing and it's so short. I hate to say it but between the constant trips between home and the hospital and the wonderful bout of writers block, I haven't gotten much writing done. I did write a new one shot that I would love everyone's opinions on. It's really sad but really good I think. (Just remember it has nothing to do with this story!) I also have a new poll up on my profile for y'all to vote for Charlie and Sue's child's name. I haven't picked if it's a boy or girl yet…*sighs* Also I have the link to the Photobucket album up and running on my profile. It's got all the important pictures in it (Like characters, the new house in Tanana [Which is a real town], the wedding dresses, and Nessie's ring!) Next chapter: the wedding (And Alice's mild heart attack)! Bring your tissues next time (I hope). Review if you want. I love hearing your opinions!**_


	13. Wedding Bells As Alice Yells

White roses, black violas, dresses and suits galore. A month of planning, all leading up to today. The cliffs have been doused in black and white, a classic, elegant color pattern. The only thing that I insisted upon. In just a few short hours I would become Mrs. Renesmee Cullen-Black. Jacob had asked to be able to change his name too so he would be Mr. Jacob Cullen-Black. I'm not sure if it's entirely legal but a lot of the things my family does aren't.

I took a deep breath, trying in vain to steady the tremors rocketing through my body. Stupid nerves.

My eyes began to water as Alice pulled my hair mercilessly. Twisting it this way and that in what she calls, "An attempt to do something elegant with these damn curls!" It wasn't my fault my hair refuses to listen to anyone. Personally, I still don't see why we couldn't leave it down.

"God damn it Aunt Alice! That HURT!" I shouted after a particularly vicious tug.

"Sit down and shut up!" Alice shrieked back at me. Well then!

I heard footsteps approaching the room, knowing instantly that they we're human. The footsteps were too heavy to be anyone else's. A few moment's later there was a knock on the door.

"Come in," I called out. Alice gasped, freezing behind me.

The door opened and a strange looking woman stood before me. She had mahogany hair, much like my mums, and chocolate eyes, much like mine. She had a beautiful face, gently aged with laugh lines. The expression on her face was one of disbelief.

I cleared my throat, "Hello. Who are you?"

The nice looking lady whispered, "I'm Renee Dwyer. Are you Renesmee Cullen? The bride?"

I nodded my head in confirmation. She paled just the tiniest bit. Her name sounded so familiar and yet I couldn't put my finger on it.

"Renesmee. Such a beautiful name for such a beautiful girl. I wish Bella would have told me. I'm stronger than she thinks. I could have handled it…I am handling it…I'm so sorry I haven't been around the last 7 years. Bella never told me I had a grand daughter."

As she talked a few words stuck out. Mainly the whole grand daughter part. Did that mean…? She could be could she?

"You're my…my grandmother?" I asked, trying my hardest not to faint, or worse.

"Yes angel I am," she answered smiling.

Behind me Alice melted, "Renee…so lovely to see you again. How is Phil?"

Renee looked over my shoulder at Alice, "Hello Alice. I see you haven't changed a bit. Jacob said I should prepare myself for that. Phil is well. He's at home with Christopher."

"Jacob? Have you seen him?! I haven't seen him in almost 3 days! Damn Alice…" I whined as Alice went back to skillfully giving me a headache.

Renee and I chatted for about a half hour as Alice finished my hair and began buffing, polishing, and painting every possible inch of me. I learned about my mother, grandmother, and my 3 year old uncle. She had told Charlie to tell Bella. To bad no one ever tells me these things.

"MUM?!" I heard my mother shout as she came into the room, wearing a robe.

"Bella? Is that really you?" Renee asked, disbelief coloring her voice.

"Yeah mum, it's really me. What are you doing here? Where are Phil and Christopher?" Bella asked, her voice shaking.

"As I was telling my granddaughter, Jacob came to see me. He explained everything without giving to much away. He said y'all live in a different kind of world. Then he started getting undressed. Then he showed me what he can do. As for Phil and Topher, they're still back home. Can you do that too? Can you turn into something else?" Renee asked. Fury glimmered in my mothers eyes momentarily before love replaced it.

"I'm going to kill the groom. No mum, I can't do that. Though I'm just as mythical. Alice, are you about done with Ness? We need to get her dressed still and we have to get ourselves ready," mum said quickly.

"No killing Jacob, Bella! You will not ruin my planning! Ness is ready for the dress. I have a dress for Renee that Esme will let her borrow. Let's go. Renesmee, move from this chair and DIE!" Alice threatened as she dragged mum and Renee out of the room.

I sighed, knowing that as soon as we were in Alaska things would go back to normal. Well as normal as things ever are in this family. This house, my extended family, the cliffs, I would miss so much from here. But I knew I could visit and we would move back eventually. I smiled at the thought.

"Hello angel," I heard a voice whisper behind me. I had been so wrapped up in my thoughts, I hadn't heard him come into the room. From the looks of it, he'd come in through the window. I still didn't know what it was with the men in this family and windows.

"Alice is going to kill you," I whispered back but I couldn't help but be happy to see him.

"Alice is busy with everyone and everything. She won't notice. Her visions are of only the future. The wedding. You look beautiful by the way," he said quietly, pulling me up from the chair. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel the love radiating off of him.

"You look quite sexy yourself. I love this shirt. I met Renee. Thank you," I said as I softly kissed his cheek.

"I thought she should be here…Renesmee Carlie Cullen, I love you. Only you," Jacob said, bringing a tear to my eyes. Thank the gods for water proof makeup!

"As I love you, Jacob Joseph Black. Always and forever," I said softly as our lips connected for a sweet, breathless moment.

That was until… "Forget what I said Bella! I'M GOING TO KILL THE GROOM!"

"Touch the groom and your closet goes up in FLAMES!" I threatened dangerously.

Alice continued to glare, "Get out Jacob! I thought I made myself clean 3 days ago!"

The look in her eye had Jacob jumping out the window before anyone could say, 'Boo!" The sound of ripping clothes told me he had phased on the fly.

"I liked that shirt," I moaned.

"Tough shit! We have 57 minutes to get you in your dress and to La Push. Go to your happy place Renesmee," Alice spat as Esme came in with my dress.

I closed my eyes and let my mind soar to Jacob, together we were running through the forest, escaping Alice and her latest idea of torture.

Time flew by as they dressed and bejeweled me. Not soon enough I was in dad's Vanquish speeding towards the rest of my life…well dad was speeding but I was next to him.

It was a short drive with my father behind the wheel. The rest of my family and all my friends were already there, waiting for the star to arrive.

As we pulled up all I could see was a sea of black and white. If it wasn't moving or breathing, it was adorned with either black or white flowers. Roses, violas, calla lilies, irises, and so many more that I couldn't even name. All so beautiful, so classic. Even with only a month to prepare, Alice had gone all out.

I recognized a few people in attendance right away. Charlie and Sue, complete with an itty bitty baby bump. Sam and Emily, trying to keep little Alexandria from getting dirt on her flower girl dress. Jared and Kim, getting Jack ready for his task as ring barer. Paul, Collin, and Brady seating guests. Jasper and Emmett talking to the Denali coven. Rose making sure the piano was in tune.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, steadying my nerves. It's just Jacob. A few words and you'll be his forever.

Soon everyone was seated, all my bridesmaids had taken their walk and it was me everyone was once again waiting on.

My knees trembled slightly as my father and I walked down the aisle. As my eyes fell on Jacob I gasped. It took all the will power I possessed not to run down the aisle and into his waiting arms.

As we stood before the minister, also known as Emmett, I began to silently cry tears of joy.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered herein the presence of family and friends to celebrate the joining of this man and this woman in the unity of marriage. There are no obligations on earth sweeter or more tender than those you are about to assume. True marriage is the purest of all earthly relationships. Who gives this woman away in marriage?" Emmett recited.

"I do," my father said as he placed my hand in Jacob's. "Take care of her."

"Forever," promised Jacob.

"Will you please face each other and join hands?" Emmett asked. We did so, looking deep into each other's eyes.

"They have chosen to say their own vows before we proceed with the traditional ceremony. Jacob?"

Jacob took a deep breath, "Renesmee, because of you, I laugh, I smile, I dare to dream again. Before I met you, I was heartbroken. I look forward with great joy to spending the rest of my life with you, caring for you, being there for you in all life has for us, and I vow to be true and faithful for as long as we both shall live."

"Renesmee?"

"Jacob, today as I give myself to you, my mind is clear and my commitment is strong and without reservation. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I will spend all my days at your side. We will share a lifetime of eternal, immeasurable love," I said as the tears began to flow more freely now.

Emmett continued with the traditional ceremony. "Jacob Black, do you take this woman, whose hand you hold, choosing her alone to be your wedded wife? Will you live with her in the good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor her at all times, and be faithful to her?"

"I do," Jacob said softly.

"Renesmee Cullen, do you take this man, whose hand you hold, choosing him alone to be your wedded husband? Will you live with him in the good times and bad, in sickness and in health, honor him at all times, and be faithful to him?"

"I do," I said, my voice cracking.

"As you take these vows, Jacob and Renesmee, I would have you remember: To love is to come together from the path ways of our past and then move forward…hand in hand, along the uncharted roads of our future, ready to risk, to dream, and to dare…And always believe that all things are possible with faith, love, and each other," Emmett said beautifully. I had a feeling Alice, Rose, or both had threatened him into behaving today. He continued to talk but I didn't really hear it, to lost in Jacob's love filled eyes.

Suddenly Jacob was speaking, "I, Jacob Black, take you Renesmee Cullen, to be my wife, to love and to cherish, from this day forward, and thereto pledge you my faith."

"I, Renesmee Cullen, talk you Jacob Black, to be my husband, to love and cherish, from this day forward, and thereto pledge you my faith."

"The rings please," asked Emmett. Jack came forward, holding the pillow the rings were set upon as thought it were made of the finest crystal and would shatter into a million pieces if he made one wrong move.

Emmett took the rings and said, "Bless these rings, that each gives, receives, and wears as a token of the covenant between them, and may they abide in peace, living together in unity, in love, and in happiness."

Jacob took my ring from Emmett and placed it on my finger, saying, "With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

Shaking, I took his ring and said, "With this ring, I thee wed. Let it ever be to us a symbol of our love."

"In as much as you, Jacob Black, and you Renesmee Cullen, have consented together in the union of matrimony and you have pledged your faith to the other in the presence of these witnesses, now by the authority vested in me by the State of Washington, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride!" Emmett said just as the sun set, creating the perfect picture.

Jacob's lips met mine in a very sweet, innocent, and yet victorious kiss. I was officially his!

"Ladies and gentlemen," Emmett said as Jacob's lips left mine, "I now present to you Mr. and Mrs. Cullen-Black!"

Together we turned to face the cheering throng of friends and family. Happiness swelled through me to the point I thought I would burst. I eyes Jasper meaningfully. He laughed and said, "This is all you kid."

Hugs and congratulations were abound. I wanted to dance a jig from the joy soaring though my heart. I felt as light as a feather. I felt as though I could fly.

We migrated a little ways down the cliffs to where the reception was being held.

Alice had once again outdone herself. Black and white flowers made a fragrant canopy over the dance floor. Miniature lights hidden among the petals illuminated the glorious reception area.

After everyone had assembled, I tossed my bouquet of white roses straight over my head and into Claire's surprised hands. She blushed, looking down.

Next thing I knew, Alice had pushed me into a chair. Jacob stood before me shyly as Alice lifted my dress to reveal my garter but thankfully nothing more…intimate…He knelt down before me, leaning forward. Blushing, he grazed his teeth along my thing before snagging my garter. He carefully removed it, his eyes never leaving mine. He tossed it directly into Quil's amazed face.

Looks like Alice would have yet another wedding to plan. Quil and Claire hadn't started dating yet but it was only a matter of time. A few more years and then Claire would be old enough to date.

Jacob took my hand and led me to the center of the dance floor for the traditional first dance. Marques Huston's In My Life started playing and we began gliding around gracefully. As the song finished, dad came for the traditional father/daughter dance. The DJ played I Loved Her First by Heartland. I saw Esme ask Jacob for a dance.

"How are you feeling Sweet Pea? Happy to be married?" dad asked as we flitted around the dance floor.

I beamed, "More happy than I thought physically possible dad. I'm probably driving Jasper to near giddiness."

"He's loving it actually…I love you so much angel. Just remember, if he ever hurts you, I'll break him."

I laughed. It was nice to know some things would never change. My dad would always be there to catch me if I should fall.

"I love you too dad. Always."

He kissed my cheek as the song ended. Emmett came to claim his dance with the bride. From the corner of my eye I saw Rose and Jacob starting to dance as Every Little Thing by Carlene Carter began to play. I laughed at the sight of them as Emmett and I ballroom danced. Psycho uncle.

"Congratz kiddo. Have fun on your honeymoon," said Emmett, winking at me. Freaking crazy psycho PERV of an uncle.

Thankfully Jasper claimed me before I had to answer. Alice took Rose's place with Jacob. My pixie aunt and my giant husband dancing to Gives You Hell was such a sight to see. I looked over and saw my dad waltzing with my mum. I laughed.

After I had danced with just about every person in attendance, along with Jacob as often as I could claim him, it was time to hop on the plane to my honeymoon and one hell of a daunting task. As much as I loved Jacob, the whole sex thing still scared me a wee bit.

A/N: What a beautiful wedding. *sighs* I wish I could show you what I see in my head when I imagine this. It's just so beautiful. The link for all the wedding related stuff is on my profile. Let me warn you now, the next chapter will be a _**LEMON**_**. **Read at your own risk. They're honeymooning somewhere secret but I promise you'll love it. (And no it's not Isle Esme.) A thousand thanks to InEdwardCullen'sArms for her amazing idea of doing Bella again. I promise I will do her soon. Maybe I'll end the story with her. Kind of symbolic. Start the story with her, end the story with her. If anyone has any ideas or anything they would like to see happen, let me know and I'll try to make it happen. Review if you wanna. Peace and love!


	14. A Honeymoon In Paradise

**Important A/N: LEMON LEMON LEMON! BEWARE!!! **

"Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone. I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run. You be the prince, I'll be the princess. It's a love story, baby just say yes!" Nessie sang beside me with the radio.

"Yes," I whispered causing Nessie to laugh.

We sped along the highway in our newly acquired Bugatti Veyron. A wedding gift from Tanya and her coven. Nessie was already in love with the car and we had just picked it up an hour ago.

We continued to rush through the Scottish countryside, listening to the direction's the annoying GPS unit shouted at us. Neither of us had been privy to exactly where we were going. Our honeymoon was Alice and Jasper's wedding gift.

According to the evil GPS unit we were 2.7 miles from our final destination. Nessie's heart was beating so fast it was one sustained note. I could easily understand why her heart was beating so franticly. We were finally going to take our relationship to that next physical level.

Like all virgins, we were scared. I don't exactly know what I'm doing and hurting her would kill me.

Nessie seemed to sense my nervousness, "It's going to be fine Jacob. I trust you…I love you. If mum and dad could do it without serious problems then were golden." A small shudder passed through her body at the thought of her parent's having sex.

I laughed, her voice calming my nerves. "I love you too. And I guess we do have that going for us. Though I never ever want to think of your parents being intimate again."

I stopped the car as we reached the gates that I assumed belonged to our final destination.

Nessie's phone began ringing as if on cue. _'Maybe I'm the one, maybe I'm the one, that is the schizophrenic psycho.'_

I wondered silently to myself who's ring tone that was and how exactly we were supposed to get through the gates to the hidden house beyond.

"You know, just once, I'd love to be able to go somewhere without you calling Aunt Alice," Nessie bitched into the phone. I guess that answered who it was.

"Whatever Aunt Alice…Yeah, I got it…Love you too…See you in a week…No, I'm sure I have it," she said, laughing.

"What did Ali want this time?" I asked.

"She told me how to open the gate. Be right back," she answered bounding out the door. Nessie went up to the gate and started pushing buttons until the gates swung open.

Nessie jumped back into the car and I pulled forward. I gasped as I saw Whitlock Manor come into view. Alice had said it was just a little place Jasper had bought. They came here to escape sometimes. Just a small little place. Nothing to big. She LIED. Evil pixie.

I pulled into the garage and shut the car off. A small sigh escaping my lips.

*******************************************************************

"Are you sure?" I whispered. A smile graced her lips.

"I have never been more sure than I am right now," she answered me.

Nessie came closer, capturing my lips with her own. In that kiss I poured all the love and tenderness I felt towards her. Though I felt so much for her that I couldn't possibly fit it all into one kiss, or even a thousand. My Renesmee, my princess, my…everything.

Our kisses became more passionate. Our desire palpable. Our hands began exploring each other. Our fingers ripped at the clothes that were suddenly too binding, too restricting.

The beautiful purple dress Alice had dressed Nessie in soon laid in tatters at our feet, as did my black shirt and jeans.

Nessie's pale skin glowed in the soft moonlight. Her supple flesh tasted of roses and tulips under my searing lips. I kissed my way from her rosy lips across her jaw to her ear down her neck and back again.

Nessie knotted her slender fingers in my shaggy hair, tugging it playfully. I picked up her naked form, feeling her creamy mounds pressed against my broad chest. I moaned, feeling my excitement grow.

"I love you," I whispered into her ear as I sucked on her lobe playfully. I laid her down upon the bed, marveling in her natural beauty.

"I love you too," she said as I disappeared between her legs. I teased her womanhood with my tongue. Her moans building my desire up more and more.

I brought myself back to her lips. A small whimper escaped her lips, causing me to move even slower, gentler. Soon the slight whimpers turned into screams of passion and the rest of the world fell away.

****************************************************************

I woke up with my arms wrapped around the angel that I could now call my wife. I groaned when her cell phone started ringing.

_'When I think about angels I think about you.'_

I picked up the phone as Nessie slumbered on. The caller ID declared that I was calling.

"Hello?" I answered her phone confused.

"Oh wow, it's the idiot himself. Congratulations on packing your phone. You have 27 missed calls by the way. Your new room here is wicked, not as wicked as mine but still…wicked," Quil said, rambling on. I sighed. This is my wakeup call?

"3 things," I grumbled into the phone. "1, to be completely honest, I don't give a flying fuck where my phone is at 6 in the morning. 2, I don't care about my new room right now. I'm on my HONEYMOON. 3, who the hell has called 27 times??"

Quil laughed, "Let's see…9 calls from various pack members. Probably congratulating you. 1 call from the in-laws. And 20 calls from 1-815-273-5333. No name, just the number."

The number wasn't one I recognized but as my angel stirred beside me, I couldn't muster the desire to care.

"Look Quil, we'll be back in 6 days. I'll deal with it then. Goodbye Quil," I said hanging up the phone quickly before he could respond. I turned the phone off and curled my arms around my angel once again.

"Hey sexy," she whispered in a sultry voice. "Now that Quil's woken us up, would you like to go eat breakfast or play around under the covers some more?"

All the blood drained from my head and pooled between my legs. Of course Nessie noticed and giggled.

"Bed it is then Mr. Black," she said, once again capturing my lips.

***************************************************************

6 glorious day's later Nessie stood in the middle of the kitchen in Whitlock Manor. We were packed and just about ready to go. Nessie threw an apple at me, laughing.

"Have you ever thought about eating healthily? I don't want my husband to get sick and die…"

I laughed and threw the apple back at her. She jumped up 3 feet and snagged the apple with her teeth.

"Well at least we know you have strong teeth. Come on. We really need to eat something if we're going to make our flight. Personally I could stay here for a while longer but…" I laughed.

On cue, Nessie's phone began ringing. _'Don't mess with man. Imma be the one to bring it to ya. Here's a little advice for you, find your own man.'_

"Hey Aunt Rosie! What's up?" Nessie asked as she bit into the apple again.

One of these days I think I'm going to reset all the ring tone's on her phone to more appropriate songs. Then again, Nessie changes the songs on a weekly basis so it really wouldn't matter.

"Tell Aunt Ali to calm the hell down. We're leaving as soon as we finish eating. I promise…Maybe I thought about it for a fleeting second but I know it's not possible…School starts when??…Do I have to?…Can't you be, just for this year?…Okay okay…Yeah your not helping me eat faster…See you then. Love you," Nessie said, finishing her apple.

I took a bit of my pasta and sighed. It was almost time for us to leave. To go to a new place, full of new people, and I'll admit, I'm scared. Sure Tanana is smaller than Forks but that makes blending in all the harder.

A/N:** Sorry this took so long to finish.** I'm having some personal issues so the updates are going to be dodgy for the next month or so. I'm very sorry about that but **I promise I will update as soon as I can**. I'm not sure where I'm going to take this story. **I might rename it and I also might make it more broad.** Anyways, well see. Next stop, Tanana, Alaska. If you haven't already, you should **Google Tanana.** I picked Tanana because my nickname is TeaNana and it was so close I just had to pick it. **Sorry about the lemon-ing but it's a honeymoon.** SO! Who called 20 times?? **Oh by the way, the phone number I included is a real phone number. **Call it if you want a little surprise. It's a recording in real life but a person in the story. Lol! Is there going to be yet ANOTHER new person coming into the story or will it be someone we already know making an appearance? **Review! **I love the inspiration y'all give me! **Also if you could ask any Cullen anything, who and what would you ask? I'm going to have a fan question chapter!**


	15. Rose Red

Tanana, Alaska could probably qualify as one of the smallest towns I've ever seen, let alone lived in. Granted I don't live IN Tanana. Much like with Forks, we live a few miles outside of town.

We could not simply buy a house though. That's just not the Cullen style. Instead, we had to have a house built. The house took almost 5 years for those slow humans to complete. It's a 4 story mansion. I believe there are 143 rooms total. That's not including the 2 story, 50 car garage. God I love being a Cullen1 Even if my last name is Hale.

I stood in the middle of my mirror room, which is an attachment to the back of my closet. Slowly I twirled around, seeing how my beautiful ensemble worked from all angles.

I fleetingly wondered if Nessie and Jacob were home yet but the thought was pushed out of my mind when my phone began ringing. _'I'm in the with a girl who knows me better. Fell for the girl just when I met her.'_

"Hey baby. Where are you?" Emmett's voice crackled through the phone. Looks like we're going to need a new cell plan.

"I'm in my mirror room in the back of our closet. What can I say? Alice helped design the house…Anyways, where are you?" I asked, walking back through my closet.

"I'm in the main family room. Nessie and Jacob are home from Scotland and Maggie's bored and Nessie wants to play. What about you?"

I laughed, "Don't I always enjoy playing babe? Isn't it one of the highlights in this family?"

I ran to the living room on the other side of the house. Torturing the family was always oh so much fun. As long as we're not picking on me that is.

"Dude, did you ever find out who called?" Quil asked Jacob as I entered the room.

Jacob sighed, "Yes and no. All I found out what her name is Ashley Allan and she's a lawyer from some small town near Chicago. Apparently I'm in a will of some sort but she couldn't disclose the details over the phone. She's going to be hand delivering the will next week. I think on Friday so that should be an interesting day."

I felt a pang of pity for the mongrel. He doesn't even know who died yet.

"Sorry to hear someone died Fido," I said as I gave him a little smile.

"Thanks Blondie. Anyways, shall we play?" Jacob asked, stretching out on one of the 12 couches. Wait, 12 couches?!

"It's Emmett's Couch Army. Don't ask. For the love of all that is good in this blessed world, DON'T ASK!" Begged Edward. I laughed and made a mental note to ask Emmet about it later, when we were alone.

"Shut up Eddiepoo! At least I don't have an army of pianos!" shouted my idiot of a husband. I just shook my head, not wanting to get involved in their idiocy.

I walked over to the rose red couch and gracefully sank into the cushions. Emmett simply plopped down next to me…with absolutely no grace or grandeur. Stupid idiot husband. The boy is SO lucky I love him!

I saw Edward shaking with silent laughter. A menacing growl escaped my lips, only causing Edward to laugh harder.

"Well Mrs. Hale, since your in such a playful mood today I think we'll focus our questioning on you," Nessie told me. So much for my good day. Hopefully their questions wouldn't be TOO bad.

"I'll begin," said Nessie. "So Aunt Rose…as we all know, you and Uncle Em have a very lively sex life. Where's the most…unusual or amazing place you've ever done it?"

I laughed and thought back to all the amazing places Emmett and I had had sex at. A few came to mind. Big Ben, the Eiffel Tower, the Empire State Building, or even the great pyramids of Gaza. Suddenly the answer came to me, "I know! The most unusual yet amazing place we've ever done it would have to be Buckingham Palace. God save the queen!" I answered laughing.

"Truth," Maggie said as she lay with her head in Nahuel's lap on the lime green couch.

Carlisle looked incredulous. "You defiled the house of the queen of bloody England??"

Oops. I forgot we never did tell anyone what we got up to when we visited England.

"Don't worry dad…It's not like we did it in her bed or anything," Emmett said.

"Moving on…Rosalie, do you still hate me like you did when Bella was still freshly turned and Nessie was just a wee little baby?" Jacob asked. I laughed and flung myself from my couch to his. I wrapped my arms around is shocked form.

"You know, I always wanted a dog. Now I have 5," I laughed. I loved that I could joke with him about things like that. It was just the way we always have been and will always be. "I only hated you for the first like year or so. But to be honest…you grew on me. You all did. Y'all are family now. Whether y'all like it or not, your stuck with me!"

Jacob gave me a little squeeze and said, "You know what Blondie, you really grew on me too."

I flew back across the room to my couch. I nestled into Emmett's side, his strong arms enveloping me.

"Such an adorable truth," Maggie cooed. I threw one of the pillows that adorned the couch at her.

Maggie snatched the pillow gracefully out of the air, giving it a once over. She tossed it back with as much force as she could muster. I ducked and the pillow smacked into the wall, leaving an amazing dent. Huh…steel reinforced walls…Smart move.

"Who's your favorite family member? Other than Emmett of course," Alice asked.

"Why Nessie of course…though this little stunt might make her loose some point's with me," I answered winking at Nessie.

"Truth. Would it kill y'all to lie every once in a while? Make it more exciting…"

We all laughed. It sounded like a million bells tinkling in the large room that occupied 2 floors. The main floor, where Emmett's Couch Army was located and the balcony, where one of Edward's many piano's was stationed. Almost like the piano was standing sentry over the Couches.

"Wow Rose. I never thought of it like that," Edward commented. I glared at him.

"Would it kill you to STAY the hell out of my head?!" I growled, only causing him to laugh yet again.

"Yes…yes it probably would," he retorted. I sighed and turned away from him. Prick.

Another pillow whizzed by my head. That bastard! I grabbed another pillow and flung it at him. It looks like this room would be used often for pillow fights.

"Why did you throw a damn pillow at me?" I griped, as Jasper sent waves of serenity towards me.

"Because you called me a prick…" he said as if it made all the sense in the world.

Another round of laughter shook the room.

"So umm yeah…have you ever fantasized about anyone in the family?" Jasper asked tentatively.

I paled. I know I did. I probably looked paler than the palest vampire, ghost, or snow. I stopped breathing too. "N-no…no…" I stuttered.

"I didn't mean you should lie just for my benefit," Maggie said, chuckling.

"Who, Rosie? WHO?" Emmett begged.

"It was just a really weird daydream. It didn't mean anything Emmett so calm down. It was back when Edward and I were 'destined' to be together. I don't want to talk about it. Just know that it was a one time thing and to be quite frank, it would give me nightmare's if I could sleep!" I said adamantly. It was something I had spent a long time trying to forget.

"She's telling the truth Em so just take a deep breath and calm yourself," Maggie said.

"Well that's something I never really needed to know," Bella said, laughing without reserve. At least she handled it better than when she admitted to her dream about my husband. "But I do have a question. Are you still jealous of me?"

"Yes and no. A part of me will always be a little jealous of the fact that you got to have Renesmee. But I'm glad to have you as a sister. And the jealousy fades a little more each day." I told her, flashing her a genuine smile.

"Aww, how sweet. It's the truth of course."

Bella stood from her seat on the baby blue couch as I stood up from mine. We hugged for a moment then we went back to our seats.

There was a knock on the door. Esme got up to answer the door. Thankfully someone had thought enough to situate the main door in front of the main living room.

"I'm Ashley Allan. Is a Mr. Jacob Black available?" the young girl asked. There was something…strange…about her.

A/N: So guys…I just had to do it…Miss Ashley Allan just HAD to be introduced. By the way, my name is actually Ashley and Allan is one of my last names. Yeah I have like 3...It's complicated. Anyways, Ashley Allan has to be one of my favorites though. It's not the name on my birth certificate or anything like that. Next up…Ashley's P.O.V. So, what's strange about her?** I have a sad announcement to make. There are only 3-5 more chapter's left. I have to tie up a few loose ends up BUT I have some good news! I plan on making a sequel.** I have a good idea of what I'm going to do for the sequel but I'm still working on the name of the next story and all that. **For all y'all that called that number, what was playing? HAHA! That's the number for the theater that I saw Twilight at for the first time.** Peace and love guys. **Review! Oh and don't forget to vote for the name of Charlie and Sue's little nudger!**


	16. What's An Imprint?

A/N: Okay guys. I wrote this chapter one bloody sentence at a time. And I mean that literally. I just added a sentence here and there. I truly detest this chapter because I feel it moves to fast but I wanted to get the final person in the story before we move on to the sequel. I'm going to write Bella's chapter in the next few day's. **The end is near.** Commence reading.

* * *

I took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. My hand shook slightly as I knocked on the door to the Cullen Mansion. I had no real reason to be nervous. It's just another will delivery. I just had one of my feelings that something was going to happen.

A kind looking woman answered the door. I froze as soon as I saw her golden eyes. I supposed I should have expected this.

My voice shaking a little I asked, "I'm Ashley Allan. Is Mr. Jacob Black available?"

"Come in Miss Allan. I'm Esme Cullen. Jacob is right inside," Esme said, leading me into the house.

"I'm Jacob. You got here real fast Miss Allan. So can you tell me who died now?" Jacob asked, walking up to me.

I smiled at him gently, "First, please call me Ashley. My other appointment canceled on me so I took my jet here instead. Also do you mind if we sit before we start talking business? My ankle is killing me. I sprained it."

"Of course you can, Ashley. I'm so sorry about your ankle dear," Esme said, once again leading me forward. I sank into the purple couch she led me to. As I sat down, I took a deep breath. Gently I massaged my aching ankle.

"It's my own fault to be honest. I really need to stop testing my limits," I murmured. Yeah, testing my limits. Like jumping off a 5 story building. Figures all I would get is a sprained ankle. I closed my eyes, concentrating on the voice that was trying to talk to me from within. It told me all I needed to know.

Edward sat down next to me. He softly said, "That's a very interesting gift you have. Very accurate too. Are you ever wrong?"

Shit! Normally my supernatural clients don't find out about my gift. I prefer it that way. I knew something like this was going to happen.

"I…don't know really. I don't think I am. When I concentrate on the voice, I suddenly know things. And I've never questioned what I know. I'm still trying to figure it all out. After all, I'm only 17. I've been on my own since I was 3. My mother died giving birth to me. My father couldn't bare the grief. When I was 3 he walked into a raging fire. I raised myself. Always careful not to do anything that would get me noticed. I ended up putting myself through law school. My gift is very useful in the courtroom," I explained. Might as well just tell them the whole story up front. From what my favorite little voice told me, Edward can read minds and Maggie knows when she's being lied to.

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. I can understand your fathers grief though. But I could never leave Renesmee. Even if I did lose Bella. Anyways, where the hell did Jacob get to?" Edward said, looking around.

I concentrated for half a second then said, "Someone named…umm…Seth, did something called 'imprinting' and Mr. Black went to make sure he's okay."

The people around me paled slightly, making them look whiter than snow. I didn't understand why. Had I said something wrong?

"No, you didn't say anything wrong. Do you know what imprinting is Ashley?" Edward asked. To be honest, no I didn't but I planned on finding out.

I took another deep breath, concentrating on the question in my mind. _What is an imprint? _My mind collected the information for me.

_Imprint - A werewolf's soul mate of sorts. The imprinting compulsion happens when a werewolf sees 'the one' for the first time. _

"An imprint is like a werewolf's soul mate right? So why is everyone about to freak out?" I asked, beyond confused.

"Sweetie, you're the imprint. Seth is the werewolf," Bella explained. Then it clicked. I'm Seth's soul mate.

"Oh," was all I could manage. At least it isn't something bad.

Renesmee walked into the room with Jacob and Seth in tow. I'm sure I paled. After all, it's not exactly something I'm used to. I've never even considered dating before, and yet the love that filled my heart was very real and very strong. I smiled shyly at Seth.

"Mr. Black? Would you like to see the will?" I asked, pulling the envelop out of my purse.

"Sure," he answered. I handed him the will and waited for him to read it. He's face grew more and more confused as he read farther and farther into the will. He looked to Edward, a puzzled expression on his face. They seemed to be having a silent conversation.

"Do you understand what the will says?" I asked tentatively, not wanting to insult him.

"Some guy my dad used to know died and left me his fortune? All because I saved his son from drowning when we were like 5?" Jacob asked.

"Actually that's pretty accurate. Apparently you really stuck in his mind when you saved his son Damian. Mr. Caleb Everfresh was a very peculiar man. I knew him for 3 years. He asked me to personally deliver the will and the keys. There are 7 keys. 2 keys open 2 separate lock boxes in his home. 1 opens his safe. 2 keys open his 2 homes. And 2 belong to his cars. All of the property is yours. There is also $57.3 million dollars in the bank back home in Stockton. That's yours too. Damian died shortly after his 10th birthday and his mother died when Damian was 2 so Mr. Everfresh didn't have any other surviving relatives. Any questions?" I explained, rubbing my ankle again. Next time I try killing myself, I'm going for something easier than walking out of my office window.

Edward laughed. I'm assuming because of the mental picture of me walking out of my office window one night because I was bored. Luckily, no one was around to see it.

"Yes I understand. I just don't know what I'm going to do with all this. Y'all wanna move to Stockton next?" Jacob said, laughing.

"That depends," said Carlisle. "Miss Ashley, how's the weather in Stockton?"

I thought about it. Concentrating for the figures. "It's cloudy for most of the fall, spring, and winter. However, it's fairly sunny during the summer."

"Well, we have 5 years or so to think about it," Carlisle said.

Seth whispered, "Guys, would you mind if I talked with Ashley?…You know, alone…"

Everyone quickly disappeared. I continued to sit on the purple couch while Seth took a seat across from me on the orange couch. He looked scared but resigned, and yet happy and in love.

"I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Seth Clearwater. Nice to meet you," Seth said shyly.

I blushed, "I'm Ashley Allan. It's real nice to meet you too."

We sat in silence for a few minutes. It was slightly awkward silence but something about just sitting there with him felt so right. I wondered absentmindedly if this was the same for all imprints. Finally I couldn't stand the aching urge that was consuming me. I stood up. I walked over to Seth's orange couch and sat down, my body turned so I was facing him.

"Seth," I murmured softly.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Nothing. I just like the way your name sounds," I said, blushing again.

"I really like your blush. It's beautiful," Seth murmured back. Then he looked as though he was blushing too.

"Thank you," I whispered. To be honest, I couldn't think of anything else to say.

On impulse I leaned towards Seth, capturing his lips with my own. It was a short kiss but full of passion none the less. When I pulled away, he simply pulled me back. He kissed me. Finally we had to come up for air.

Panting slightly I said, "Wow…that was…amazing!"

Seth laughed, "Would you believe that's my first kiss?"

"Well considering it was my first kiss too, yes I would believe it," I answered, snuggling up to his side. It just seemed like the natural thing to do. He wrapped his strong, warm arm around me, cradling me close. I gently laid my head on his chest, listening to his steady heart beat. My eyelids felt heavy and I found myself slipping into a deep slumber.

**************************************************************************

I woke up several hours later, my head cradled in Seth's lap. I found myself starring into the eyes of one small human girl. She was sitting Indian style in front of the couch. I kept my eyes closed for the most part, looking at her from under my eyelids.

"So she's like me then Uncle Seth? Will I get to play with her?" the little girl asked. Seth's body shook slightly behind me. He laughter quieted by the pillow pressed in front of his face.

"Yes sweetie. She is like you. I don't know if you'll get to play with her or not. I don't know if she's staying," he sighed, the pain in his voice unbearable. "I really hope she stays though."

I rolled so I was looking up at him. I smiled at his shyly. "Is that an invitation? Because I don't want to leave you. I think…I'm not sure really, but I think I love you. I've never loved anyone before."

The smile he gave me was amazing. It looked as though his smile was going to crack his face.

"Gag me with a spoon," the tall lanky blond boy said. I think his name was Jasper.

"Jasper! Shut up! It's sweet! God, you would think you aren't used to the whole 'new to love' thing. Remember when Edward and I first started dating?" Bella bitched as she slapped Jasper upside the head. He rubbed his head. I bet that hurt.

"Sorry Bella but you two have nothing on them. Seth is about to burst with love and Ashley is going to drown in desire. It's going to make me choke. No offense guys," Jasper said in response to Bella's little hissy fit.

I laughed. I couldn't help it. While I laughed, I glared at Jasper. My 'voice' said it was his doing.

"Sorry Ashley. I'm just trying to lessen the emotions in the room. Kind of drowning in love over here."

I found myself blushing again. An old Selena song playing in my mind. _I could fall in love with you. I could fall in love with you baby. I can wonder how touching you would make me feel. But if I take that chance right now, tomorrow will you want me still?_

"Do you always sing to yourself in your head?" Edward asked me curiously. I blushed.

"Not always but frequently. Why?" I answered, confused.

"Oh no reason," he responded before muttering, "It's going to be a long forever."

A/N: Yeah, lame ass chapter. But my muse is in freaking Iowa right now and he won't be back for a week. So I have no inspiration. I talked to him on the phone but that just wasn't enough. So sorry. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. **We're revisiting Bella next.** Then the epilogue. Then the sequel will being.** I don't have a title yet for the sequel but I do have a tagline.** I can't tell you the tagline though because it gives too much away. Sorry ;). I**'m not going to repeat all of the questions from the first chapter but I will be repeating a lot of them. **Y'all wanted to see what's changed so the best way to do that is have Emmett ask some of the same questions. A**lso Emmett will be the one doing most of the questioning next time.** I didn't get enough questions to do a full Fan Question chapter but the questions people did ask will be thrown in the next chapter so look for those. **Thank you all so much for sticking with me.** My question of the chapter: Who's P.O.V. should I use for the final chapter (The epilogue)? **Review please! I love getting them! Peace!**


	17. Here We Are Again

Renesmee and I sat together with Claire and Ashley in one of the small media rooms. Claire had chosen High School Musical 3. I was surprised by the fact that I was actually enjoying the movie, especially _'The Boys Are Back'_ and _'Can I Have This Dance?'_. I would never admit it though.

I remembered when the original High School Musical had came out. I wasn't interested in it then and to be quite frank, I'm not interested in it now. What I wouldn't give for an escape right now. Even one of Alice's makeovers. I cringed. Okay, maybe not one of Alice's makeovers.

I took a deep breath, lifting my shield long enough to beg Edward to come save me. I really hoped he would. Last time I checked, he was wrestling with Emmett. Between the size of the house and the sound proofing I couldn't hear them though.

Right on cue, Edward and Emmett came into the media room. Emmett scooped me up and flung me over his shoulder. He ran with me into the main living room. Edward followed close behind with Renesmee. I assume Claire and Ashley continued to watch the movie.

"What the hell Emmett? Why did you just kidnap me?" I growled from my new seat on the black sofa. Edward deposited Renesmee on the silver couch across from me.

"I wanted to play with my baby sister. Is that a crime? Besides, you're the one who mentally begged Eddie to come rescue you!" Emmett said, his laughter booming. I groaned. Whenever Emmettt wanted to play, something bad happened.

"Yes, I asked my husband to come rescue me. I hadn't realized that you were my husband," I said, glaring at Emmett.

"Come on Squirt! Don't be that way," he begged before shouting, "Power Rangers Assemble!"

Renesmee simply stared at him, a look of wonder and fear on her face. "Uncle Em, dude…Who put what in your kool-aid and where can I get some?"

I laughed while the family assembled into the room. I had a bad feeling about this. Edward and Alice both looked far to…happy.

"So Bella, we feel it's time you get questioned again. We would love to see what's changed since you have," Emmett said, a wicked grin playing on his lips.

I groaned and sank further into the couch. I tried to think of a way to get out of this hell.

"Stop plotting Bella," Alice warned me. "Your not getting out of this. Period."

I sighed in defeat. I knew she was right. In this family you can't get out of anything.

"Now that that's settled, I'll begin. Since your change, have you had any…naughty thoughts…about anyone other than you Eddie-poo?" Emmett asked, laughing at the memory of what happened the first time he asked the question. Though he worded it differently last time.

"Not even for a second," I said, a small laugh bubbling to the surface.

"Truth," Maggie said as she did cartwheels around the room. I knew I should ask why she was doing cartwheels but to be honest, the idea of finding out frightened me slightly.

"Mmm, I have a question," Rose announced, smiling. "What would you do if Mike Newton tried to make a pass at you now?"

I burst out laughing. I couldn't help it. The thought of seeing Mike again was deplorable! "I think I would have to eat him. Literally."

"So mum, what would you do if you knew you could not fail?" Renesmee asked.

"I think I would probably tell my family everything," I answered.

Edward suddenly turned very serious, "Bella, do you regret anything?"

I didn't even need to think about it, "No Edward, I don't. How could I? I have you, I have an amazing daughter, I have my best man, my teddy bear, my pixie of a sister, my whole family. And I get forever with them…with you. What more could I ask for?"

"Truth," Maggie said, her eyes locked on Nahuel's. Every woman was staring into the eyes of the one she loved.

"Have you ever though of killing me Bells?" Jacob asked, lifting the mood.

"Yes…Yes I have. Like when I found out about the imprinting on my daughter thing and when you kissed me on First Beach…" I said laughing at the memories.

"Truth," Maggie said, laughing with me.

Jasper asked, "What's your favorite sound?"

"Butterfly wings," I answered, thankful I could no longer blush.

"Why?" Maggie asked, curious.

"I don't know. It just sort of popped out," I admitted.

Edward chuckled, causing me to slap him.

"Idiot," I muttered under my breath.

Another round of laughter went through the room.

"Well as much fun as this has been, we all have school in the morning. We should enjoy our final night as married couples for tomorrow we go back to being simple teenagers," I said groaning.

School. It was going to be so hard to go back to pretending to be 'normal' full time.

A/N: OMG! **It's so close to the end.** I think I'm going to cry. And yet I'm so sorry that I'm doing the sequel. Guess what! **You already know what the sequel is about if you paid attention. ;)** I promise to have the end up soon and then _it'll take me a bit to start the sequel._ _I**f you can guess what the sequel is about I'll send you the tagline for it.**_** Review! **It really motivates me!


	18. A Bittersweet End

"Seth, why are you so quiet?" Ashley asked as we sat together on our bed.

I'm sorry beautiful. I've just been thinking. So much has changed in the year that I've known you. I love you so much. Happy anniversary angel," I said kissing her softly.

Ashley giggled. "I love you too but our anniversary isn't for another 12 hours or so," she said, turning back to the book in her hands as my mind went back to my family.

Charlie and Sue would be visiting soon. They would be bringing the twins with them. Little Paige and Jackson are so amazing. Alice takes Paige shopping every time we visit the little animals. I have a feeling they're going to be the most spoiled children in the world. Though I don't think it will ruin them.

Edward and Bella cherish the latest additions to the family. They have been busy lately. I believe they're opening a music store in addition to the book store Jasper and Ashley co-own and the fashion boutique Alice and Rose have.

Carlisle still saves lives on a daily basis while Esme has been restoring a house a few towns away. Esme is a genius when it comes to restoring things.

Emmett and Rosalie have 'utilized' just about every room in the house. Including ours…

Jacob and Renesmee are still in the 'newlywed' phase of their marriage. It's actually fairly sweet. I wonder if Ashley and I will be like that when we get married.

Claire just celebrated her 10th birthday last month. Quil got her the pony every little girl wants. Emmett made a joke about having a snack bar in the backyard.

Embry's still single. I think he's afraid to date because of what we are, what our whole family is…Alice says that'll all change soon enough though. Such a cryptic little pixie.

Lucas and Leah are tying the knot next year. We're all very curious to see if Leah will be able to procreate. Lucas is perfect for my sister. I'm glad she has someone so nice.

Maggie and Nahuel have decided to wait to get married. At least until after they graduate. Maggie's been working on her 4th novel while Rose is teaching Nahuel to fix cars. Siobhan, Liam, and Huilen visit often. But they understand Maggie and Nahuel's choice to stay with our family. Huilen met her soul mate. A great vampire named Nullah. She's happy even if she's not used to being without Nahuel.

Life is as interesting as ever. I have a feeling life's going to get a lot more exciting though.

"FAMILY MEETING! RIGHT NOW!" I heard Carlisle shout, anger filling his voice. I'll admit, I've never heard Carlisle yell out of anger before and I'm kind of scared.

_**FIN**_

A/N: So here it is…**The end**…For those of you who don't know, **there WILL be a sequel**. I promise to have the start of it up as soon as possible. **Also if any of you have any story recommendations I'd love to hear them.** I'm always on the look out for a good story. **Thank you all for reading!** I STILL don't have a title for the sequel. I love y'all. **Your all so amazing.** Peace and love.**Review!**


	19. Sequal Info

Okay boys and girls. Mainly girls. **The sequel to The Lie Detector Test is up!** I would like to thank all of you for sticking by me to the end and hopefully making the transition with me to the sequel.** Family Therapy is sure to be interesting.** The Cullen clan has a lot of issues to address. So I just had to share this because I have nothing better to say. These are opening lines from real books.

_"I am a sick man . . . I am a wicked man. An unattractive man, I think my liver hurts."_

_"He—for there could be no doubt of his sex, though the fashion of the time did something to disguise it—was in the act of slicing at the head of a Moor which swung from the rafters."_

_"They're out there. Black boys in white suits up before me to commit sex acts in the hall and get it mopped up before I can catch them."_

_"Choose life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a family. Choose a fucking big television, choose washing machines, cars, compact disc players and electrical tin openers. Choose good health, low cholesterol, and dental insurance. Choose fixed interest mortgage repayments. Choose a starter home. Choose your friends. Choose leisurewear and matching luggage. Choose a three-piece suit on hire purchase in a range of fucking fabrics. Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on Sunday night. Choose sitting on that couch watching mind-numbing, spirit-crushing game shows, stuffing fucking junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up brats you spawned to replace yourselves. Choose your future. Choose life . . . But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose life. I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got heroin?" _

_"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect."_

Can you say weird?? Granted I have never actually read any of these books, the starts alone would make me shy away from them. So yeah. That's all I have to say. **Go check out Family Therapy. Title *may* change. **


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